A FILTHY Enemy - Jaxson Kidman Page 0,61

to do this. My brother went off to be a lawyer. And I was the girl running across the country wanting to become a singer.”

“And Chet wasn’t the way to do it,” I said. “And you weren’t going to take down the band in the process. I had to protect myself.”

“Protect yourself from what?”

“You,” I growled at her.

“I was that deadly, huh?”

“You were too trusting,” I said.

Abby laughed and touched the corners of her eyes. “I guess so, right? I went with you, Reed. I trusted you. I never asked a thing from you or the band. In fact, I stayed so far away, they barely even remember me.”

I gritted my teeth.

Abby did keep her distance…

“No,” I said. “I’m not falling for that shit right now. You jumped on the band with Chet in the background of it all. What did he tell you to do to the band?”

“Fuck you.”

“That’s right. That night, honey, I saw it all. He called you and left a voice mail. Saying that he had someone ready to go. That you were going to front your own rock band. It was going to be all men but you as the lead singer. You were going to take the world by storm and change the entire music scene.”

“That’s why you did it? You thought I was using you and the band… for what? What could I have learned from you all? How to swallow whiskey and snort coke at the same time? How to hang my ass out a tour bus window? Or how to take a big gulp of the cheapest vodka and spit fire with a lighter.”

“You watched every show,” I said.

“As a fucking fan,” Abby yelled. “You know what, Reed? I’m sorry I even asked about this. I’m sorry we’re having this conversation. I was better off not knowing. Because this is complete bullshit.”

Abby turned and I hurried toward her.

I touched her arm and she elbowed me.

“Tell me you weren’t talking to Chet,” I said. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

She stood at the door and slowly nodded.

She looked back at me, tears in her eyes.

“Okay, fine,” she whispered. “I was talking to Chet. He would call and pitch an idea. I would think about it for thirty seconds and hang up. How could I not? It was all I wanted. But I didn’t want to lose you. I was confused, Reed. All you guys talked about was fucking women. I had no idea where I belonged. I had no idea if I could handle the life. Knowing you were backstage with some groupies. You’d sleep and I’d watch you. I’d tell myself it would be okay. I mean, what were we, right? Were we even a couple? I had no idea. But it hurt to think about you with other women. Even if it meant nothing.”

“So you’re telling me you loved me,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter now, Reed,” Abby said. “You made your decision. You looked at my phone. You listened to a message that wasn’t yours to listen to. You thought I was going to screw you over. Or hurt the band. Honestly, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I just wanted to be near you. Then you tossed me out of the bus. You left me. I thought it was some kind of fucked up joke at first. But it wasn’t. You went off to become rich and famous. I went off to become… nothing.”

You’re not nothing, honey. You’re amazing to me. I regret what happened that night. I think about it every day. Even if I say I don’t, trust me, I do.

“I don’t want any fucking favors either,” Abby said. She tossed the envelope to my feet. “Whatever the deal is for the other singers is the same for me. I’ll be fine. I always am. I know how to survive. I don’t need you.”

Those four words hurt more than anything else.

Abby left the studio and I grabbed the door to hold it open.

“Abby…”

“No,” she said. “I really need that money, too. I got into some gambling debts and took off on them. The people call me from time to time to fuck with me.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. I’ll handle it. I always do, Reed.”

She was gone a few seconds later.

Then I lost my mind.

I grabbed a chair and started swinging it like a baseball bat.

It might have been thirty seconds or thirty minutes, but when I stopped, I threw the chair and I stumbled back and