Fight Song A Novel - By Joshua Mohr Page 0,9

the confidence to ask her out.

He waited a long time for that mysterious confidence to swell, but it never did. He was too much of a pussy. The other guys on his team happily reminded him that he should let it go, no chance in hell he’d ever ask, and even if he did, what was the probability of Jane wanting to date Bob? In the end, he decided to build her something, knew that if he had a shot with her it would be in a different world than this one. He worked round the clock for three days building it and then emailed her the zipped files with instructions for how to install the HTML on her system to get into this new world he’d constructed for them.

The email only said: Jane, please meet me in here tonight at 10:30.

He sat at home, slugging Coke from a two-liter, and waiting like an antsy child who needs to take a leak but is stuck in the backseat of the family sedan. Waiting and feeling stupid for doing all this. She wasn’t going to show. Why would she show? No doubt she could do better than a bloated coder.

It was 10:33.

On his computer screen, Bob’s avatar stood alone in the world he’d built. He designed the avatar to look like himself, save for a smaller waistline. The avatar was on the left-hand side of the screen, standing next to an elaborate maze. There was an Italian restaurant on the other side of it.

At 10:35 Coffen finished the two-liter of soda, which means he consumed the whole thing in a little over twenty minutes. His kidneys were not thrilled with the carbonated poison pumping through them.

I’ll wait until 10:45, Bob thought. And if that’s not enough time for her, I’ll wait until five in the morning, but not a minute longer!

It didn’t come to that.

At 10:39, Jane’s avatar popped onto the screen: It was a spitting image of her. The braids on her head. The yellow cardigan she always wore to the office. The black-rimmed glasses.

I’m here! her avatar said in a chat bubble. Sorry I’m late. Traffic on the highway was out of hand! Bumper to bumper.

Was there an overturned big rig blocking your path?

Toxic chemical spill.

I hope its noxious fumes didn’t infect you with a secret government-cultivated disease.

That’s a sweet thing to say.

I’m a gentleman.

Where are we?

We’re on a date. Are you hungry?

Starved!

Let’s go dig in.

Their avatars entered the maze. It took about ten minutes for them to stumble through it, making small talk the whole time, finally arriving at the restaurant. Once their avatars touched the shape of the restaurant’s exterior, the background changed. Now they were inside the restaurant, sitting at a table.

Do you like grilled calamari? Bob’s avatar said. The chef here is known for it.

When I was a little girl, a two-ton squid escaped from the zoo. It crawled in my window and hid under my bed. I kept it alive on saltwater taffy.

That squid is lucky it found you.

It’s a blessing and a curse, though. Now every single squid that escapes the ocean tries to track me down. It’s a headache.

LOL!

A robust, tan, mustachioed man came and took their order. Soon steaming piles of food appeared on their table. The avatars ate everything up.

After the meal, they sat at the table smoking cigarettes.

Jane said, I like how these cigarettes don’t make my breath bad.

Your breath is superb.

You’re a smooth talker in this place, aren’t you?

No, I just like you.

I didn’t know you wanted to ask me out.

Bob’s avatar tamped out his cigarette. I’m shy.

Me too. But you don’t need to be shy around me. I like you. You do?

Everybody at work does! You build the best games. I mean, look where we are right now! You’re amazing.

Thanks for meeting me here tonight.

Any time! I’m going to go get some sleep, Jane said. I have a CS meeting at eight tomorrow. Will you miss me until we’re at work together?

Of course.

Make sure and give the waiter a big tip. He did a phenomenal job. Bye, Bob! Thanks for doing this for me.

Hold on. My credit card was rejected. Do you have any traveler’s checks or something to pay the bill?

LMAO

Good night, Jane.

XOXO

The next day at work, there was a piece of saltwater taffy sitting next to Bob’s keyboard when he got there. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to eat it or keep it forever. Then a chat window popped up on Coffen’s screen. It