FenceStriking Distance - Sarah Rees Brennan Page 0,51
waving his phone to illustrate why. “I’ve been commenting live on this whole date as it unfolded. Got a lot of new followers.”
Aiden cracked a smile. “Good for you.”
“When life gives you lemons, post a bitter tirade on social media, I always say!” Bruce put away his phone. “Anyway, I figure you’ll pay for all of this when your roommate comes home after getting dumped.”
“He’s not getting dumped!”
“I’d give it fifty-fifty,” said Bruce. “Anyway, bye. It’s been real, Aiden. Real weird.”
“Later, Rocket,” Aiden said, and Bruce grinned. Aiden didn’t grin back. Aiden had been faking a smile throughout the double date. Aiden found that at the end of this disaster, he could no longer manage to even pretend.
Harvard had been dumped.
Aiden knew as soon as he walked in. For a tall, broad-shouldered guy, Harvard usually walked very softly, as though he didn’t wish to disturb the universe. It was only when he was weighted down with misery that his tread was heavy.
He came into their room and stood in the center of the floor, hands open and helpless. Harvard normally possessed great steadiness of purpose, but right now he looked as if he had no idea what to do.
Aiden stared at him, wracked with guilt. He’d always promised himself he would never hurt Harvard. Not Harvard. He truly did not want to hear what had happened.
“What… happened?” he asked.
Harvard stared at the floor. “Uh—I walked Neil home. Well, I more or less chased Neil home. He wouldn’t really look at or talk to me until we reached his porch. Once we were there, he told me… he wasn’t sure we were going to work out as a couple, and he was pretty sure I knew why.”
Aiden wasn’t any good at apologies, which was unfortunate, because he needed to come up with an abject one fast. Aiden didn’t have many rules he lived by, but this was one. He didn’t ever hurt Harvard. He wouldn’t do that.
Except he had.
Neil had been really into Harvard until he met Aiden. It was clear Aiden hadn’t done a good enough job hiding his seething hatred, or his attachment to Harvard. Aiden’s date had figured out how Aiden felt, and Neil must have done so as well. This was all Aiden’s fault.
Into Aiden’s fraught silence, Harvard said, “I don’t know why, though. I told Neil I didn’t. He said that if I figured it out and wanted to see him again, then I could give him a call in a week. That seems like there’s hope, right? I got something badly wrong, but if I knew what it was, I could fix it.”
“Wait,” said Aiden. “What?”
Harvard looked up at the sound of Aiden’s voice, and frowned. “Do you think it was when I snapped at the server about spoons? I read that if you behave badly with the waitstaff when on a date, you’re showing your date who you really are. I should go back to the diner and apologize. I should bring her flowers.”
Aiden was off the hook. He didn’t know why some weird masochistic impulse was telling him to wriggle back onto it.
“You don’t think Neil might have made this dumbass decision because of me?”
“Because you can’t remember your dates’ names?” asked Harvard, a trace of warm amusement creeping into his voice. “You’re a menace, but no. I don’t see any reason why Neil would break up with me because of you. Neil was clear he was breaking up with me because of something to do with me.”
Bruce had been right about everything, except for one factor: Harvard was good, really good, in a way few people could understand. He would never blame Aiden for something if he could blame himself instead.
“God, I just don’t know how to date.” Harvard sighed. “If I’d dated some people before now, maybe I’d understand what to do. Is that why you date around a lot? So if you find someone you like, you won’t mess up?”
Aiden shook his head wordlessly. He hadn’t realized Harvard liked Neil so much.
“Is it all just practice? Like fencing? I don’t know why this is so difficult for me when it comes so easily to you,” said Harvard. “I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m getting everything wrong.”
Aiden was lounging on the bed, fiddling with Harvard Paw as he sometimes did when he had the urge to go to Harvard or touch him. He patted Harvard Paw on the head. Seeing Harvard this upset made him miserable, too.