Feels Like Falling - Kristy Woodson Harvey Page 0,115

loved go through that shit, and I knew they couldn’t help it. I knew it wasn’t their fault. But when it’s your own mother, it feels different. Frank didn’t understand. He hadn’t lived through the mess I’d lived through.

I swore inside, like this little baby could hear me, that it didn’t matter what happened, come hell or high water or something we didn’t even know about yet, I’d do everything in my power to never leave it. Frank and I had been debating our wedding date, whether we should take a long time and plan a big wedding or put the pedal to the metal and do it as soon as possible. It all seemed really clear now.

“Frank,” I said, “can we get married now?”

“Darling,” he said, “I thought you’d never ask.”

* * *

“I can’t wait for you to see him,” I said to Frank for about the millionth time.

He squeezed my hand. “Me too, babe.”

I walked up to the window where I normally checked in.

“Hello there, Miss Diana,” Karen said. “You’ve got that glow. When’s that baby coming?”

“Thanks,” I said, looking down at my ever-expanding belly. I looked at Frank, and you would have thought his son had just pitched the winning game of the World Series for how tickled he was over all of it.

“You here to get the rest of Phillip’s things?” she added.

I cocked my head to the side. “The rest of his things? What do you mean?”

Karen furrowed her brow. “Well, it says right here that somebody checked him out.”

I felt myself starting to panic, my breath getting short. “What do you mean, somebody checked him out?” I could hear my voice getting louder and sterner.

She looked real worried. “I wasn’t here, but it says that somebody checked him out. All his discharge paperwork’s been filled out.”

I looked at Frank and could see my panic mirrored in his eyes. “I’m sure there’s an explanation, babe,” he said. “Let’s calm down.”

Sure. Right. An explanation. “Charles,” I said. “Charles got him.”

Frank took my hands in his. “I’m sure he did. Let’s try not to get so worked up. This has been a very stressful couple of weeks for you, and we need to remember what’s important here, okay?”

I was pretty damn tired of everyone treating me like some sort of terminal cancer patient. I was pregnant. People were pregnant all day, every day without everyone all up in their grille about it.

I marched back to the car, Frank following right behind. I slid into his convertible and was barely in the seat before I had my hand on the phone and was dialing Charles.

“Hello,” he answered. He sounded miffed. But I was thinking that if anybody should be miffed, it was me. Springing her on me like that. What was he thinking?

“I went to see Phillip, and he is gone.” I was trying not to get hysterical again.

“Yeah,” he said. “I got him.”

“Well, thanks for telling me,” I said, “the one who actually goes and sees him all the time.” My voice was strained. “Did it occur to you that maybe I would be worried when I went to see my brother and he was gone? Did you think about that, Charles?”

“Geez, Diana. Chill out. Just come over to the beach. I rented a house for me and the kids and Lanna, and I thought I’d bring Phillip too.”

“That’s all well and good, Charles, but in case you didn’t remember, our brother has autism. New environments are very hard for him. Change makes him anxious.”

“I know, Di. His doctor and I talked all about it.”

That fired me up good, Charles acting like him and Phillip’s doctor were just best friends when he’d met him maybe twice. “So what’s your plan then? Just checking him out for the week and dumping him back in there?”

He sighed. “Why don’t you come on over here, please.”

I told Frank the address.

I crossed my arms, still huffing. “Just takes him away like I wasn’t even going to know. I should have been there to talk him through it. I should have been able to warn him. He probably doesn’t even know who Charles is. He’s probably terrified.”

I knew Charles only had Phillip’s best interest at heart, but I was the one who had been there day in and day out. It was hard to let go of the control.

All of that floated away when we drove up to a plain yellow house, and Charles and Phillip were sitting in rockers on the