Fed Up - By Jessica Conant-Park & Susan Conant Page 0,82
top hat onto my father’s head. “Here. Wear this. I don’t know what to say to you except that you are a big dope. Go put on your suit and be ready to walk Adrianna down the aisle in a few minutes. I have to go find the flowers.”
On the dining room table sat the box of flowers. Because of Robin’s efforts, some of the blooms had survived the Josh versus Emilio outbreak. If you looked closely, you could see that some stems were crumpled and that there were fewer orange roses than there should have been, but it was far too late to buy new flowers. I caught Naomi just as she was coming down the stairs in search of Adrianna’s and my mother’s bouquets. “Whatever you do, don’t say anything to Adrianna about what Owen is wearing. Or was wearing. Or what . . . Just please keep her calm and happy.”
I couldn’t help noticing that Naomi herself was a lot calmer than I was. All of her yoga, herbal remedies, acupuncture, and other alternative practices and preparations were apparently more effective than I’d ever imagined. “Don’t worry about a thing, Chloe,” she said with a beatific smile. “Adrianna and I are having a significant bonding experience.”
I hurried to the kitchen to retrieve my script for the ceremony from my purse. Digger was now in charge, and under his supervision, Alfonso and Héctor were beginning to plate appetizers on serving trays. I retrieved the typed pages and nearly collided with Nelson, who was evidently trailing me again. Well, if he was filming me, he’d inevitably capture Ade and Owen as they said their vows. In any case, I had no time to argue with him now.
“Chloe. Chloe.” Héctor tapped my shoulder.
“Yes. What is it, Héctor?”
Again he started speaking in Spanish that I couldn’t follow. I shook my head in confusion. Then I caught the word foxglove.
“Wait! Say it again. I don’t understand. I’m sorry.”
“He’s saying something about Americans buying flowers,” Digger explained. Digger and Héctor exchanged words for a moment. “Oh, okay. He wants you to know that one of the Americans who bought foxglove plants is here today. She has brown hair in a ponytail. The woman with him.” Digger pointed to Nelson. “He means the director. Robin.”
Robin, who had been to the nursery while making the gardening film that had involved my parents. Robin, who lived in an apartment without access to a garden or balcony and who’d said that she had no interest in plants. Robin, who’d thus had no horticultural reason to buy foxglove. Robin, who had been present throughout the filming of the reality TV episode, including the entire time in the kitchen. Well, this was the worst possible moment to take in the implications of this new information, never mind to act on it. For Pete’s sake, I had a wedding ceremony to perform!
“Foxglove,” Digger said. “Isn’t that—”
“Yes, but never mind,” I said. “Not now!”
As I was hurrying through the dining room on my way to the tent, I ran into my mother as she headed upstairs. “Mom?”
“What is it, Chloe? I’ve got to get your father so we can start the ceremony.”
“I know. Quick question. One second. When Robin did the gardening film, were there any references to poisonous plants? In particular, did you talk about foxglove?”
Mom shot me a look of exasperation. “I don’t know why you want to discuss this now, but, yes, as a matter of fact. The film was mainly about flower borders and included talk about the toxicity of many common ornamentals, including foxglove. What a thing to ask when you’re supposed to . . . Chloe, get going!” My mother hurried up the stairs and called over her shoulder. “Take your place, Chloe. The music is playing already, but Josh has the remote, and he’s going to start the processional when you’re ready.”
I exhaled deeply and made my way out the front door and toward the tent. Josh, in ghastly purple, stood just outside the entrance with Owen, who looked even handsomer than usual and was dressed exactly as Adrianna would want. As I took my first step past the masses of potted plants I’d bought at the nursery and into the tent itself, Josh, right on cue, changed the music. Flanked on either side by wedding guests, I felt suddenly awed by the responsibility that the Commonwealth of Massachusetts had granted me, and as I walked down the aisle, my knees shook. Flashes from