drive here, I’d felt on the verge of jumping out of my skin and I hadn’t been able to stop plucking at my pretty sundress. But now that the ceremony was actually happening, I had the insane urge to laugh.
I mean, I was marrying my boss … in front of Elvis … who kept belching … so Dane kept sighing … and my nose was filled with the smell of onions because Elvis’s loud burps reeked of them. Each belch echoed throughout the chapel. Sometimes he paused to mutter “excuse me” beneath his breath while other times he managed to talk through the burps and didn’t miss a beat. It was all just surreal.
I was so glad that Dane had insisted on having the ceremony recorded, because this was too precious not to share.
I snuck a quick look at him. His jaw was hard as he stared at poor Elvis, evidently pissed. Dane wasn’t the type to appreciate the funny side of such a situation, especially considering it was a wedding ceremony—one he’d paid to make happen. This had to be the only time I’d ever witnessed him bite back his words. He was not a man who held his tongue, and he genuinely looked as if it pained him to do it.
I might not have felt so desperate to chortle if I wasn’t aware that I absolutely could not laugh right now. The pressure of holding it in only made things worse, as did the way Dane kept giving me the stink eye, warning me not to dare crack up. I’d always had a nervous laugh; it had gotten me into trouble in the classroom more times than I could count.
I tightened my hold on the platinum masculine wedding band in my palm, as if it could give me the strength that I needed to keep my composure. He’d given the ring to me before we left the hotel, and I’d been terrified that I’d drop it somewhere. “Showtime,” he’d then said.
Yes, it was a show. And I was one of the main stars. Now I needed to play my part. And I was trying really, really hard to do it well and keep from laughing, but I wasn’t sure I’d be successful at it for much longer.
Elvis belched again.
Dane sighed again.
A snicker popped out of me before I could stop it. I quickly clamped my lips together. Dane shot me another cautioning look, and I almost choked on the laugh that was now stuck in my throat. I held it in, but my shoulders shook, and my body quaked.
Elvis didn’t once acknowledge my struggle. I supposed he’d long ago mastered the ability to keep on going, no matter what was happening. Either that or he was simply so embarrassed he’d rather pretend everything was fine.
Feeling my eyes tear up, I slowly lifted my bouquet and hid behind the flowers. God, my stomach hurt, and it felt like my sides were splitting.
The more I told myself it wasn’t that funny, the harder I wanted to laugh. I practically wheezed out my vows. Tears were pooling in my eyes again when it came time for us to exchange rings. Dane took that moment to cast me a droll “you cannot be believed” look that made a snort bubble up inside me.
I slid the masculine wedding band on his third finger, and he slid a more feminine version onto mine. It was beautiful and shiny and fit perfectly … but it sadly did not help me pull myself together.
Finally, I sensed the ceremony coming to an end. I didn’t think I’d ever felt so relieved about anything in a long, long time.
“I now pronounce you man and wife,” said Elvis, gurgling the last word since it came out on yet another smelly belch … to which Dane shot him a hard, pained look.
And that was it. I lost it. The laugh shook my shoulders as I bent over, my eyes tearing up again, and practically shoved my face in the bouquet.
Dane sighed. “Finished?”
Not even close. I was worried I might actually pee. But I forced myself to stand upright and knuckled away a fresh tear. “Sorry,” I croaked.
He hauled me close and lowered his mouth to mine. I was entirely unprepared for the hum of electricity that swept over me, or for the soft growl that rattled his throat. His tongue sank inside and licked at mine, bold and demanding.
Amusement gave way to need—so much need. It was raw and carnal