Fatal Secrets - Desiree Holt Page 0,35
are.” She cleared her throat. “I would be very grateful if you could help me. Thank you for offering.”
Her words gave him a warm feeling. There was more here than an intense physical attraction, although that, too, was on a deeper level than he was used to. Zoe was the first person who had crept under the shell he’d erected. He only hoped he wasn’t making a mistake. All he knew was, for the first time since the IED exploded, a very tiny ray of hope wriggled through him.
“Sean? Do you think we could swing by my apartment and get my car? You can follow right on my bumper all the way to the ranch, but I’d feel a lot better if I had access to it.”
“Yeah. I guess. Hank was going to send someone tomorrow for it anyway.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
They rode in silence for a long time. He was sure Zoe’s brain was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out who might be following them. Or who’d had someone follow them. He was busy keeping an eye on the road, harder now that it was getting darker, so he was startled when Zoe spoke.
“Tell me about yourself, Sean. I don’t know anything about you except—”
“Except I’m a former SEAL, with not too many social graces and a bunch of scars which you’ve politely ignored asking questions about.”
He heard her sharp intake of breath and wanted to kick himself. Yeah, his social graces were definitely under water.
“Sean. I—”
“Stop. My bad. I told you I’m not much good in polite company. I forgot to tell you I also major in self-pity lately.”
When she didn’t say a word, he thought, Well, fucked that up pretty good. We ought to have a wonderful time being joined at the hip.
“Shut up.” She snapped the words.
He tightened his hands on the wheel. Shut up?
“We don’t have time for your self-pity. Not if you’re supposed to be protecting me.” She paused. “But I would like to know what happened. I mean, if you feel okay about telling me.” She rested her hand on his forearm. “I’m not curious, Sean, I’m interested. Really interested.”
“Interested?’ Damn. He sounded like a goddamn parrot.
“I mean, I want to know…about you.” Her voice now was soft, like a fleece cloth.
“Okay.” He blew out a breath. “There’s not much to tell, but—”
“Oh, I think there’s a lot more than you want people to see. And I really want to know what it is.”
He thought for a moment, figuring out the best way to explain things to her. He shouldn’t have a problem. God knew he’d relived what happened ten million times and then some.
“If you’d rather not,” she said when he didn’t say anything more, “that’s okay. It’s really none of my business, I guess. I—I’m interested, Sean. In you, as a person.”
And how long had it been since that happened? Except, of course, for his cousin Hank who had dragged him out of the pit of despair and self-pity.
“It’s fine,” he said at last. “I was just figuring out where to start. It happened on our last mission together. Our mission was to rescue some hostages being held in a terrorist camp. But our intel was wrong and sent us down the wrong road. Some carefully planted IEDs took out everyone on my team except for me and one other guy.”
“Oh, Sean.” She gave his forearm a gentle squeeze.
“It was bad. My other team member who lived lost one of his legs and an eye. I considered myself lucky I only got cut up the way I did.”
“That’s a lot more than cut up,” she pointed out. “I can’t imagine the pain you went through. And the agony of what had to be months of rehab. But at least you’re alive.”
There was more he could tell her, but he wasn’t sure she could handle it. Nor did he think he was ready for the retelling in all its gory detail.
He grunted. “Sometimes that’s more of a curse than a blessing. You’re damn lucky I didn’t have one of my nightmares last night. You would have run out of the room screaming.”
“I doubt that. It takes a lot to scare me off.” She paused. “I’ve read stories about this, stories that shocked me to the core. And about dealing with PTSD. Nightmares. Flashbacks. All that.”
“All true.” And all still alive in his nightmares. It had occurred to him this morning that while Zoe had spent the entire night, something