So yeah, I’m mad.” Maya picked up another shirt and started folding it with way more intensity than necessary.
Lauren just stood in the doorway, watching her. “Well, don’t you want to say that to her?”
Maya wanted to say and do a million things to her mom. She wanted to scream at her, shake her, ignore her forever, crawl into her lap and cry.
“I’ll say what I want to say to her when I want to say it to her,” Maya replied. “And not before.”
“Dad says that we need to start going to a family therapist.”
Maya raised an eyebrow but didn’t look up. “Dad’s just getting that now? Because I could have told you that five years ago.”
“My,” Lauren said, and she looked up this time. “Don’t make me go by myself. Please.”
“You’re not going by yourself. You’re going with Dad, remember? Slurpees!”
“You know what I mean. Please, Maya. You promised you wouldn’t leave me behind.”
Maya walked over to her, putting her hands on Lauren’s shoulders. “Laur,” she said. “I promise I’m not leaving you behind. We’re just on different paths right now. They’ll meet at the end, okay? I promise,” she added again when Lauren looked unconvinced. “I’ll see Mom when I’m ready. If you’re ready, though, you should go now.”
Lauren sighed heavily. “Fine,” she said, then flounced out of the room. “Betray me, that’s fine!”
“Okay!” Maya said. “Good talk, Laur!”
The only response from Lauren was a slammed door.
By Friday night, Maya thought she would burst.
The problem with keeping secrets, she was starting to realize, was that they were too big to carry by yourself. When the girls had been little, Lauren had always been her secret keeper, but they weren’t little anymore.
There was only one person she wanted to tell, Maya realized on Friday night, after everyone else had gone to bed and the house sounded louder and emptier than it did during the day. Only one person would truly understand.
She reached for her phone and texted Claire.
you up?
The wait time was excruciating, and Maya rolled over onto her side, the blue light from her phone illuminating everything in the room. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to will herself back to sleep, convinced that Claire would never write back.
Her phone buzzed.
Maya almost fell out of bed trying to read it.
are you seriously texting me right now?
I’m going to meet my birth mom tomorrow.
Maya held her breath and waited.
whoa.
I know. can you meet? please?
Why should I meet you, My?
Maya hesitated, then typed.
because I’m scared. and I’m sorry.
i’ll be at the park in 20 min.
Maya threw herself out of bed and went to get dressed.
She was almost out of the house when she hit the bottom stair and ran straight into Lauren.
“Where are you going?” Lauren asked.
“What are you doing up?”
“Eating ice cream. Where are you going?”
“You got up to eat ice cream and didn’t wake me? I’m hurt.”
“Where are you going?”
They were both whispering fiercely, trying not to wake up their dad. Maya was pretty sure if the circumstances weren’t so dire, they would have looked like they were doing a comedy routine.
“Just . . . somewhere.”
“Are you sneaking out?”
Maya nodded. “Don’t tell Dad, okay? I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Are you meeting someone?”
“I’m meeting . . . someone.”
Lauren’s face lit up. “Are you meeting Claire?”
“Shh!” Maya practically fell on top of her sister trying to keep her quiet. “You are the worst at being sneaky, you know that?”
“Only you would think that was an insult,” Lauren replied, but she didn’t sound too upset. She was even grinning. “Oh my God, are you and Claire getting back together?”
“Just cover for me if Dad wakes up, okay?”
“How do I cover for you?”
Maya was fairly certain that she was going to murder her sister that night. “Lauren!” she whisper-cried. “Just be quiet and go back to bed, okay? I’ll text you when I’m back.”
“Okay, okay, fine.” Lauren looked positively gleeful. “Just apologize for whatever you did and get back together, okay? You’ve been moping around for weeks, and so has she.”
Maya had no idea if this was true, but she wasn’t going to waste time arguing with Lauren about it. “Good night,” she said. “Also, stop eating all the ice cream. Leave some for me next time.”
Lauren threw her a mock salute, then climbed the stairs as Maya slipped out the front door.
By the time she got to the park, everything was a pulsing red behind her eyes, each burst of color in perfect sync with her heartbeat. Maya