Fandom (Famous #3) - Eden Finley Page 0,14
something I should’ve done a long time ago but haven’t had the guts.”
“I don’t understand, Denny.”
My name is weighted with disappointment and hurt. Like I wasn’t feeling horrible enough already.
“You and me both,” I mutter.
“Can you at least tell me why you disappeared from my life immediately after promising you wouldn’t?”
Is he kidding me? “You mean apart from making a fool of myself by kissing you?”
“It has to be more than a stupid kiss.”
That’s what he doesn’t understand. He didn’t that night either. It wasn’t just some stupid kiss to me.
It was all the confusion that had been building over months—no, years. It came down to two quick seconds of his lips on mine followed by the crushing reality of rejection.
“I …” I have no idea what to say to that.
“Was it because you didn’t think I’d be supportive of your sexuality? Or that I’d try to convince you to keep it a secret or … that I’d disapprove? You know I have absolutely no issues with people living their truth.”
“I’m not … it’s not …” I grunt. “I still haven’t worked any of that out, okay?” Because you’re still the only guy I’ve ever been attracted to.
“Then what did I do that was so wrong you felt you had to cut me out of your life? It’s not like you were in love with me or anything.”
My gaze flies to his, and his mouth drops open.
“Oh, shit, was it?”
“No,” I say quickly. Maybe too quickly. I try to cover. “Check your ego.”
“I don’t get it. I did nothing wrong. And then … then when I needed you …”
“Y-you needed me?” Why does that idea call to me? Mason needing me. Wanting me.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Stop it.
“I needed someone to tell me everything was going to be okay when I had no faith that it was,” Mason says. “I needed someone to encourage me to keep trying, and when everything that mattered to me blew up in my face, I needed a friend. You broke my heart.”
You broke mine first.
I can’t say that. I don’t have the courage.
“All I can say is I’m sorry.” And I know it’s not enough.
We sit in silence while we drink our coffees. I try to think of something to say. Anything. But nothing comes close to being good enough.
The security gate tells me the others are back, and we’re no closer to coming to any sort of civility.
Mason glances toward the door. “Tell Harley I’m still not interested. I can’t … we can’t …” He shakes his head. “I don’t think there’s any coming back from this. For you and me or for Eleven.”
If possible, this might be worse than when he didn’t kiss me back. My heart twinges. It hurts. I want to take it all back. Everything. From kissing him to ghosting him, I wish none of it had ever happened.
Maybe then we’d be in each other’s lives. Maybe then I’d still have my best friend.
I need to find a way to apologize and have him truly hear how sincere I am.
I messed up, and I’ve spent way too long avoiding this moment. “At least take some time to think about the Eleven reunion. The only reason I’ve said no so far is because of you. Because I didn’t want to have to face my mistakes. Your solo career might not have gotten off the ground, but this tour could save it. If you’re happy to live here by yourself, then fine. Do that. But you can’t let this opportunity pass by because of our bad blood.”
Mason purses his lips. “Calm down, we’re not Taylor Swift levels of hate. I’m just not willing to put myself in a position to be disappointed again. I don’t want to go back to an industry that sees me as expendable. No one will care if I’m there or not.”
“Not true. There are millions of fans out there hoping for it. Screw the execs and the industry people. Do it for the fans who made us all who we are.”
For the briefest moment, I see a crack in his tough exterior, but it doesn’t last long. “Not interested.”
The Mason I knew was always warm and inviting, and he would’ve gone to extreme lengths to make any of us from Eleven happy.
New Mason’s bitterness is like a slap in the face.
I guess I was wrong. Mason’s physical appearance isn’t the only thing that’s changed about him.
I wish I knew how to fix it.
Fix us.
I don’t think I