Famine (The Four Horsemen #3) - Laura Thalassa Page 0,144
loudly. “Marriage is for humans,” I say.
“I don’t give a damn. I want you to be mine under the eyes of all of these deceitful little assholes we live alongside.
“Please,” he repeats.
Still I hesitate.
“I’m afraid,” I admit. Afraid of loving something this much, of having it this good. I’m afraid of actually getting everything I’ve ever dreamed of because I’ve never gotten anything of substance before in my life.
“No one will ever hurt you again,” Famine vows, misinterpreting my words. “It’s us against the world, Ana. Marry me.”
A moment later he reaches under the mattress and pulls out a ring. Sitting right in the middle of it is a fat-ass diamond. The thing isn’t some modest stone, this thing is a goddamn boulder.
My gaze moves to his. “Who did you kill to get that thing?”
“Ana,” he says, his voice beseeching me to take this seriously.
This is too good to be true, but for once, I don’t let that stop me.
I smile up at Famine, my grin so wide it hurts my cheeks. I tuck a lock of his toffee-colored hair behind his ear, and then I lean up and kiss him.
“Yes,” I say against his lips. “Yes.”
Chapter 50
Famine
The days become weeks, the weeks become months. My scythe doesn’t rust and my muscles don’t grow soft, but I have gone to seed, my purpose set aside.
Just for a moment, I told myself when we settled in. Then I will get back to my task.
I knew I was telling myself a lie, but it was alright at the time. I wanted to give Ana a respite; she asks for so little.
But the truth is, I actually like this derelict little house of ours, and I’m curious just how overgrown I can make it before Ana actually loses it.
I expected the townspeople to plot against me, to rebel and fight for their lives. I was ready for that confrontation. But while I sense their deep and abiding fear, they have left me alone. I even get the impression that they respect me.
Ana, on the other hand, is openly adored. The same people who cast me fearful glances will happily pull her aside to chat about this or that. I would die before I admit it, but a part of me is proud of how beloved my fiancée is.
And now I’ve come to the ridiculous decision that maybe I’ll hold off killing them altogether—at least while Ana lives. Only then will I resume ravaging these lands.
My throat closes up at the thought of Ana one day dying.
What will happen when that day comes? Once she’s given me children—assuming, of course, that she ever wants them—and she grows old and passes. She’ll be gone, and … and … I will be forced to feel the earth take her body back into itself. I will feel it pick her apart and disperse that beloved skin and that beautiful hair and every other bit of her into the ground, food for some other, newer life. The world will go on, I will go on, even if she won’t.
I find I can’t breathe at the thought. It cuts too deep. Much, much too deep.
Why have I never considered this?
It’s not even her dying that causes me grief; it’s the lingering on without her. Lingering on and on.
I stand out in our yard, taking in my surroundings with a sort of helpless fear I’ve come to despise. I can hear Ana somewhere in the house, humming while she burns the dish she’s trying to make.
I still can’t get enough air in my lungs.
How will I ever possibly take back up my scythe once she’s gone?
I won’t.
I can’t.
It’s as simple as that.
What a fool I’ve been to believe I didn’t have to choose between Ana and my task. Choosing her was the end of my task. There’s no moving on once she’s gone.
But—if I’m made mortal—I’ll age with her, die with her, move on to whatever comes next with her.
I want that. I want it bad.
But mortality would mean living in this body I have long despised, a body I’ve only recently been reconsidering. And it would mean giving up my powers.
That’s a staggering tithe—one my brothers have already paid.
I finally understand why they traded in their weapons and their immortality. There is nothing quite like being human. This damnable, deranged experience actually has some perks.
I find I don’t care nearly enough about my power to shake away this notion that I could be mortal with Ana.