here?’ I said eventually. ‘Now that you and Birdie …?’
‘Good question,’ he said, not looking up at me. He laid another bud down on the tray, rubbed his fingertips together and then laid his hands in his lap. ‘I guess, because even though I’m no longer with her, she’s still a part of me? You know, the part of love that isn’t about sex, it doesn’t automatically die. Or at least it doesn’t have to.’
I nodded. This was certainly true for me. Although there was a large probability that I might never get the chance to hold Phin’s hand again, or even have another meaningful conversation with him, that did not diminish my feelings for him.
‘Do you think you might get back together with her?’
He sighed. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Maybe. But maybe not.’
‘What do you think of David?’
‘Ah.’
His body language changed subtly. He drew his shoulders closer together, entwined his fingers.
‘Jury’s out,’ he said finally. ‘In some ways I think he’s awesome. In other ways …’ He shook his head. ‘He freaks me out.’
‘Yes,’ I said louder and more fervently than I’d intended. ‘Yes,’ I said again, quietly. ‘He freaks me out too.’
‘In what way, exactly?’
‘He’s …’ I cast my eyes to the sky, looking for decent vocabulary. ‘Sinister.’
Justin emitted a rumble of laughter. ‘Ha, yeah,’ he said. ‘Exactly spot on. Yeah. Sinister.
‘Here.’ He passed me a handful of small yellow daisy-shaped flowers and a roll of string. ‘Tie them into little bundles, by their stalks.’
‘What are they?’
‘It’s calendula. For soothing skin complaints. Brilliant stuff.’
‘And what’s that?’ I gestured towards the tray of tiny yellow buds.
‘This is chamomile. For making tea. Smell that.’ He passed me a bud. I put it to my nose. ‘Isn’t that just the nicest smell?’
I nodded and looped some string around the stems of the calendula, tying it in a bow. ‘Is that OK?’
‘Brilliant. Yeah. So,’ he opened. ‘I heard about you and Phin. The other week. You know, tripping.’
I flushed pink.
‘Man,’ he said, ‘I didn’t touch drugs ’til I was almost eighteen! And what are you? Twelve?’
‘Thirteen,’ I replied firmly. ‘I’m thirteen.’
‘So young!’ he said. ‘Hats off to you.’
I didn’t understand this sentiment. It was so clearly a bad thing I’d done. But I smiled anyway.
‘You know,’ he said conspiratorially. ‘I can grow anything out here. Virtually. Do you know what I mean?’
I shook my head.
‘I don’t just grow stuff that’s good for you. I can grow other stuff. Anything you like.’
I nodded seriously. And then I said, ‘Like drugs, you mean?’
He laughed his belly rumble laugh again. ‘Well, yeah, I guess. Good ones.’ He tapped his nose. ‘And bad ones too.’
The back door opened at that moment. We both turned to see who it was.
It was David and Birdie. They had their arms looped around each other’s waists. They glanced briefly in our direction and then went and sat at the other end of the garden. The atmosphere shifted. It felt like a cloud passing over the sun.
‘Are you OK?’ I mouthed at Justin.
He nodded. ‘I’m cool.’
We sat for a while in the muffling blanket of their presence, chatting about different herbs and plants and what they could do. I asked Justin about poisons and he told me about Atropa belladonna, or deadly nightshade, which, legend has it, was used by Macbeth’s soldiers to poison the incoming English army, and hemlock, used to kill Socrates at his execution. He also told me about using enchanting herbs, with spells, and aphrodisiacs like Gingko biloba.
‘How did you learn all this?’ I asked.
Justin shrugged. ‘From books. Mainly. And my mum likes to garden. So you know, I was brought up around plants and the soil. So … natural progression, really.’
At this point we had not been given a day’s teaching since Sally had left. We children had been freewheeling around the house, bored and restless. ‘Read a book,’ was the refrain to anyone complaining of having nothing to do. ‘Do some sums.’
So I was ripe, I suppose, to learn something new and all that was on offer elsewhere was David’s weird exercises or Birdie’s fiddling.
‘Are there any plants that can make people, you know, do things – against their will?’
‘Well, there are hallucinogenics, of course, magic mushrooms and the like.’
‘And you can grow these?’ I asked. ‘In a garden like this?’
‘I can grow virtually anything, boy, anywhere.’
‘Can I help you?’ I asked. ‘Can I help you grow things?’
‘Sure,’ said Justin. ‘You can be my little apprentice buddy. It’ll be cool.’