When I finish, Deputy Cohen’s face is red with pursed lips and moist eyes.
“Have you had any problems with your family since they gave custody of you to the Jerichos?” Gillian asks.
“No. I don’t even see them outside. They’re not sociable. They don’t know any of the neighbors on the street. The only reason they know the Jerichos is because Arissa befriended me.”
“Thank you, Sara,” she says, closing her notebook. She and Deputy Cohen stand.
“That’s all?” I ask.
“I need to interview your family and detectives will be interviewing them as well. I’ll be in contact with your guardians.”
Rose sees them out and then returns to me. “I know you didn’t want Arissa and Jason to know, but I think you need to tell them before they find out on their own.”
I sink back into the cushion. “I’ll think about it.”
She combs her fingers through my hair. “Sara, it won’t change how they feel about you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because we all know you had no control over what went on in that house.”
She sounds so sure, but I’m not convinced. Jason won’t want to have anything to do with damaged goods.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Jason is sprawled out on the grass in the quad. I sit cross-legged, picking at my sandwich. His hand covers my knee as he rolls onto his side. “What’s bugging you?” he asks. “You haven’t been yourself today.”
I inhale deeply. I don’t want to tell him, but if I don’t, he’ll find out from someone else. That’s not fair to him.
“Parker,” he gives my knee a gentle squeeze, “talk to me.”
The pressure sends a shudder through my body as my eyes burn with tears.
“You can tell me, you know.”
“I know,” I say quietly. “J, I—“ I can’t finish as we make eye contact. I’m going to tell him and he’s going to walk away and never talk to me again.
“Hey.” He sits up, slipping his arms around me. “Why don’t we skip the rest of our classes and go somewhere we can really talk?”
“I can’t ditch.”
“Sure you can. Your parents can’t do anything to you and I know Rose and Andrew will understand.”
“Okay.” They will understand since they urged me to tell him. What’s missing an afternoon of classes just once?
Jason gathers our lunches and backpacks and then holds out his free hand to help me up.
“Where do you want to go?” he asks, buckling his seatbelt.
“Anywhere.”
Minutes later, we claim a spot on a picnic table at Moonlight Beach. Jason leans back with an elbow on the table and I place my legs over his, my arms folded on bent knees. His other hand draws circles around my back, comforting me.
“I’m not sure where to start.”
“Wherever you’d like,” he says in his supportive tone. The one that makes me feel safe, and loved.
“I need you to know that this is the hardest thing I’m doing right now and I need your support.”
“You always have it, Parker.”
“My father didn’t just physically and emotionally abuse me, J. He also raped me.”
He gasps. “That day in the cafeteria,” he says, hushed.
“That was the first time.” I take a breath. “Yesterday, I had to tell a social worker about every single time he did it.
“He tried to after you dropped me off from our first date. He was waiting for me in my room. I stood up to him that night. I was so happy and I didn’t want him to take that from me. He took so many other things…I couldn’t let him have that.”
He pulls me into a tight embrace. Warm tears fall on my shoulder as his body shakes against mine. “I’m sorry, Parker.” He draws back and sniffs. “I’m so, so, so sorry for what he did to you. And I’m sorry I ever pushed you about dating.”
“I was afraid to tell anyone, but you need to know. You deserve to know. This is what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“I didn’t get into anything. I got you.” He releases me and cups my face in his hands. “I want you. I don’t care what your father did.”
“How? How can you want me knowing how damaged I am?” Tears brim and overflow. “I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be ready for sex.”
“Parker, I’m not with you for sex. I’m with you because you’re smart, beautiful, and funny. And as you said earlier, you need my support.” He swipes the tears with his thumbs.