which I’m not a supporting character who bites it in the first hundred pages. But I’m not the main character. I’m not strong like them. I’m damaged.
“Park—“
“You should go. Go be with your girlfriend. I have work to do before my parents get home,” I say flatly, standing and averting my eyes.
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he states, accepting the end of our conversation.
“Thanks for the flower and for coming by.”
“Only for you, Parker.”
I can hear his smile. I head for the door then stop short. “J,” I say without looking back, hiding my wet face.
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry about lunch.”
“Forgotten already.”
I drop the calla lily in a glass of water on my desk, then call Arissa to apologize, cutting the conversation short so I can do my chores. And to not be caught on the phone by Victoria.
Later, Father interrupts me doing homework in my room.
“Where’d you get this?” he asks, picking up the glass.
“A boy at school.” I keep an eye on the glass, worried he’ll throw it against the wall.
“Does he know you’re damaged goods?”
I shake my head.
He places the glass back on my desk, then crushes the bloom in his hand. He leaves without another word.
I stare at the mutilated flower and my heart drops into my stomach.
Damaged like me.
CHAPTER NINE
Jason sits down next to me, looking pleased with himself.
“What’s up with that canary-eating grin, Waters?” Arissa asks with a half-grin of her own.
“I made the basketball team,” he answers, maintaining eye contact with her and rooting around in his backpack.
We congratulate him at the same time, smiling.
“Thanks.” He places a thick paperback book in front of me.
Les Misérables by Victor Hugo.
“What’s this? I ask.
“Your bribe.”
He gives me a classic rather than a popular dystopian or paranormal romance novel, knowing my likes are different than other girls. “Thank you.” I smile.
“Will you go to the game with me tonight?” he asks, his smile seeping into his eyes.
Arissa coughs and sputters, but my eyes stay trained on his. A rich honey drizzle I find harder to resist with each passing day.
We can only be friends, I remind myself. “Your girlfriend.”
“I broke up with her yesterday.”
I stare at him, stunned. “I—I—I can’t,” I stammer. I’m damaged goods.
Arissa kicks me under the table and I glare at her.
“I’m going with Arissa and her parents,” I elaborate.
“We can hang out,” he says.
This isn’t going to work. “I don’t know. My parents don’t want me dating. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“It’s just hanging out, Parker.”
“You don’t understand, J. They check up on me with people they know here.” I don’t know who they are. I just know there have always been people at my schools who tell them what I do and who I’m with. It’s how they were able to keep me from making friends until Arissa moved in. With Arissa and Jason in the picture, they have less control, but still have eyes. I can’t take the risk.
“That’s seriously fucked up,” Arissa says.
Jason covers my hand with his. “I’ll be there and if we happen to run into each other, then we run into each other.”
Arissa and I leave the concession stand with drinks in hand. Jason steps out of the line and walks with us. “Can we talk?” he asks me.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” I reply.
“Just over there.” He nods at the gate the football players come through from the locker room. “And it’ll be quick.”
I turn to Arissa.
“I’ll wait here,” she says, taking my drink.
He faces me at the fence, setting a hand on my arm above my cast. I step back, shaking my head.
Big Brother is watching.
“Parker, I like you.”
His revelation sets off a storm inside me. My heart beats like a violent downpour and my head swirls in a gust. I grab the fence, steadying myself.
I don’t know how to respond. Until he asked me to the game, I always thought he was being nice.
“Why me?” I ask. Probably stupid, but I can’t take it back now. “You had a girlfriend until yesterday.”
“You’re smart, pretty, funny, and you aren’t needy for attention.”
His answer comes so quickly I wonder if he’s rehearsed it. I shift on my feet and gaze into the darkness beyond the fence.
It will never work. My parents will never allow it.
“I’m not the girl for you, J.”
CHAPTER TEN
The walk home from Dr. Bannister’s office is long and lonely without Arissa. I’m so used to her company now it’s odd to feel lonely outside my house.