“This is great,” he says, swallowing his first bite.
“Mom’s recipe. She and your mom put together a little box of their own recipes.”
“That was nice of them.” He takes a bite of salad. “Can I take some back with me?”
“Yeah,” I say, then add jokingly, “I know the cafeteria food is only good for one thing.”
He breaks out into a huge grin. I smile for the first time since last night.
“I miss that smile, Parker.” He lays his fork on his plate. “I’m sorry—“
I shake my head. “I’d like to not lose my appetite while I still have one.”
“Whatever you want.”
“How was the flight yesterday?” I ask, making small talk.
We spend the rest of dinner talking about the road trip and the upcoming tournament starting Sunday. We discuss going home for Thanksgiving while doing the dishes.
“Do you want to leave tomorrow night or Thursday morning?” he asks, passing me the salad bowl to dry.
“Early Thursday morning.”
“Do I get to stay the night tomorrow?” He dries his hands on a towel.
“I don’t know.” I place the bowl in a bottom cabinet, then open the drawer above, fishing out a set of keys. He cups his hand and I drop them.
“Does this mean…?” He allows the question to drift off.
“No. It means I’m giving you your set of keys to our apartment and trusting you to respect whatever I decide.”
He leads me to the futon and sits, turning his body to the side so his left leg is in front of him. I sit mirroring him, my hand still in his.
Keep an open mind.
He makes unwavering eye contact with me. “Her name is Amanda Dickerson. Everyone calls her Mandy. You were right. I do know her well. I met her at the end of ninth grade at the mall one day. I was already not looking forward to Summer Break, because it meant not seeing you for three months.
“She was bubbly and being with her took my mind off you. We wound up going to a movie before leaving the mall. I don’t even remember what movie, because we were making out for most of it. I saw her almost every day after that. A few weeks later, I slept with her. She was my first. I wasn’t hers.”
My jaw slackens and I cover my mouth with my other hand for a moment, then drop it in my lap. It never occurred to me that he might have had sex with his ex-girlfriends. How stupid of me for not asking.
I remove my hand from his and weave my fingers together, playing with my ring as he continues.
“When I met her, I was able to stop thinking about you all the time. I thought I was over you, so I was moving on in my own way. But the longer I was with her, the more I realized I didn’t really like her. I liked that she was a distraction from you. I still wanted you.
“We ran into each other at that party after I moved into the dorms, and she latched on to me. I hadn’t seen her since breaking up with her, because she went to Del Mar High. I told her about you and she still pursues me like I’m an option.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Who else did you sleep with?”
“Becky.”
That explains her relentless pursuit of Jason. “Who else?”
“No one. Just Amanda and Becky. I meant it when I broke up with Becky that you were the only one I wanted.”
“Then why go out with her?”
“Because I was immature and I did stupid things.” He runs a hand through his hair then cups the back of his neck. He drops his hand before continuing. “I was still missing you and I wound up hooking up with Becky as another distraction. I was unhappy, Parker. It doesn’t excuse what I did, but that’s how it was for me.”
“And yesterday?”
“Just like I told you. Mandy threw herself at me.”
“I saw your hands on her.”
“I was trying to push her away. Her waist was the only place I could put my hands since her arms were around my neck.” He reclaims my hand, “I should have told you all this before. Back when I broke up with Becky. But you had so much going on, I thought it would cause more harm.”
“We were always friends first, J. I know I was upset when you dated other girls, but it’s because you