for the holidays. And she was going to call Gail herself every day, so that she wouldn't have a reason to call. They had thought of everything, and he was breaking her heart now. She didn't care if she got hurt, she didn't care if she died, as long as she could be with him.
She looked at him with deep, sad eyes. “If you make me go, I'll run away again. You're all I have to live for, Bill.”
It was a terrible thing to say and it tore at his heart. She had been through so much and she was so young, and in some ways she was right, she was far more mature than most girls her age, certainly more than Gail; but she had also been exposed to more. The Haight-Ashbury, the commune, the baby she had given birth to, her difficulties with her parents. It seemed unfair to hurt her again, but this was for her own good, he told himself as he stood up, her hand gently held in his. He was going to drive her home himself, but she wouldn't move. She just sat looking up at him, with that broken look, those heartrending eyes. “Baby, please … you can't stay …”
“Why not?”
He sank down on the couch next to her. He could only fight her for so long, and if she didn't go soon … it wasn't fair to him … he was only a man after all. “Because I love you too much.” He took her gently in his arms, and kissed her, with every intention of taking her home after that. But his iron resolve began to melt as he felt the hot molten lava of her tongue reaching into his mouth, and instinctively his hand went between her legs. They had been getting bolder and bolder for weeks now, each time they were alone. “I want you so much, little one …” he whispered hoarsely into her neck, “… but we can't … please …”
“Yes, we can,” she whispered back. She was melting into the couch, pulling him down with her, and all his arguments began to drift away … maybe just this once … just once … they would never do it again … and then suddenly he came to his senses, and pulled away from her. His legs were shaking when he did, but he shook his head and stopped.
“No. I won't do this to you, Anne.”
“I love you with all my heart.” She looked like a stricken child.
“And so do I. I'll wait for the next two years for you, if that's what we have to do. And then I'll marry you. But I will not ruin your life.”
Suddenly she laughed, and it was the laugh of a very young girl as she kissed his cheek. “I love you so much. Do you mean you'd really marry me?” She was stunned and delighted and pleased and happier than she'd been in a long time.
“I would.” He smiled gently at her. It had been a difficult hour for him, for both of them, but more so for him, and he hadn't slept all night. But he meant what he said to her now. He had thought of it before. He even thought that Gail might approve of it one day. Other men had married girls less than half their age. It wasn't the worst thing he could do. “If you were crazy enough to marry me, that is. In two years, you'll be eighteen and I';ll be fifty-one.”
“Sounds great to me,” she grinned.
“How about when you're thirty and I'm sixty-three?” He was testing her now and watching her eyes. He was serious about proposing to her. He could think of nothing else in life he wanted more, but there was no reason why they couldn't have both, his happiness and hers. He wanted to take care of her, to keep her from sorrow for the rest of her life. He sensed that her parents had done precious little for her since the day she was born, certainly less than he did for Gail. But Gail was an only child, and Anne was the last of five, and from what he had heard, she had been born into their lives at a difficult time. Still that was no excuse. And he would spend the rest of his life making it up to her. Everything. Even the baby she had given up.
“That sounds fine to me.” She was responding to his