It’s a question that makes me ache. I don’t even know how I would answer, but Zoey doesn’t hesitate.
“You don’t need to be anything other than who you are. Okay?” Ella nods, and Zoey continues as I keep eavesdropping from a few feet behind them. “It seems like you haven’t spent much time around other kids. Is that right?”
Was she in school? I remember asking Eleanor about Ella’s schooling. But she didn’t give me a straight answer.
“We moved a lot.” Ella sounds defensive. “I have tutors online.”
“That’s okay,” Zoey soothes. “I can tell your tutors have done a good job. You gave me a run for my money in Scrabble.”
I can tell that Zoey has more questions, but she and Ella move on to the next stall. A protectiveness rises from the pit of my stomach, clogging my throat and blazing in my chest. Hate is an ugly emotion, one I don’t want to feel toward Eleanor. As bad as things got between us, I never felt more than disgust and dislike. But now …
I hang back a bit until I can breathe evenly again. Mama joins me, smiling as she winds her arm around my waist. I sigh at the comfort in her touch.
“Eleanor really did a number on that little girl, didn’t she?” Mama says, and that feeling rises back up, so hot that I probably shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the barn, lest I set it ablaze.
“It seems that way,” I say through gritted teeth. “You’re helping. You have no idea how much.”
“Zoey is helping,” Mama says, and we watch together as Zoey and Ella kneel near one of the giant pigs. The lazy thing simply lies there, snuffling in pleasure as they scratch behind its ears. When Ella giggles, it’s like a key turning some hidden lock inside me.
“Thayden is flying out,” I tell her. He’s done work for Mama and Daddy as well. He drew up their will and helped get things in order after they realized pretty quickly they needed more contracts and waivers for the petting zoo.
“What are you going to do?”
“I think I have to fight for her. But I don’t know what Ella wants. And I need to know more about the situation. What’s best for her.”
Just saying the words makes me feel a little braver than I actually am. The idea of fighting Eleanor for custody of the daughter I just learned about and who barely tolerates me is terrifying. It also feels right. The idea of it was foggy at first but has become more and more clear the closer I get to it. But it’s not just Ella, and not even just Zoey. It’s the two of them, both of them, in my life.
Somehow, it feels like too much to even hope for.
“That’s my boy,” Mama says, patting my shoulder.
Zoey and Ella move to the next pen, where a particularly grumpy llama stares blankly at them. Though I’m not always up on trends, I’ve seen colorful llamas decorating pillows and shirts and backpacks everywhere recently. Clearly, this was orchestrated by people who haven’t spent time around llamas.
“We should probably warn them,” Mama says with a smile.
“We should.”
But we don’t.
And when the llama rears back and spits on the center of Zoey’s black T-shirt, I can’t help but roar with laughter.
Ella shrieks and runs to Mama. I’m still laughing, slapping my knees as tears roll down. After a moment, Ella starts to giggle as well. Zoey stares at me in shock, then down at the disgusting llama deposit decorating her shirt, then back to me.
With a yell, Zoey charges toward me with murderous intent in her eyes, grabbing a garden hose that’s near the barn door. I’m laughing, even as she soaks me head to toe. And it’s in this moment, watching Zoey’s wide smile, her messy braid, and a shirt covered in llama spit, I realize that I’m helplessly in love.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Zoey
“What is he doing here?”
Maybe I should have kept my tone in check at the sight of Thayden in the kitchen when I come back down from changing after llama-gate. He is Gavin’s friend. But Gav doesn’t seem to mind my tone, and Thayden, of course, is amused.
Growing up, there was a dog in our neighborhood who loved to chase cars. I swear, I watched him get hit more than once. He’d get right back up, tongue lolling and a doggy smile on his face, then run after the next car, limp and all.