watched Pride and Prejudice for you? I had to google the hand thing, and I still don’t get it, but—”
“Gavin—”
“Sh. Let me admire you. Please.”
When she settles again with a tiny sigh, I continue to lay out my catalogue of her qualities. The ones I’ve carefully tucked away for a moment such as this, a moment I thought would only exist in my mind. The fantasy Gavin had much smoother moves than real-life Gavin. I’m making a fool of myself.
I don’t even care that I’m being so vulnerable, laying it all out there in front of her. I’m sharing my collection of treasures. Each one carefully selected. Beautiful. Priceless. Not for sale.
“How long?” Zoey asks when my words have slowed from a rushing river to a trickle of a creek to a soft exhale.
She doesn’t need to clarify. I know what she’s asking.
“Attraction? From the start. The very first moment I saw you.” I pause, for the first time a little lost in what words should come next. I need her to know the depths of how I feel without scaring her off.
“But it grew into much more. So much more.” I’m tempted to kiss her again, but I think I’ve used up every shred of my control for tonight.
“Me too,” she says, pressing the smallest, softest, most perfect kiss just underneath my jaw.
I want to get a tattoo there. I don’t care of what. An X maybe, marking this spot. Forever. It’s hers.
Before I lose any more of myself, I pull away, lacing my fingers through Zoey’s, palm to palm. I lead her out of the tack room, and the leather smell fades into a distinctly less pleasant one. Horse and hay, which I don’t mind, but the waft of manure effectively kills the mood. Probably not a bad thing, considering.
We walk toward the door and a barn cat scuttles along the wall, disappearing into the shadows. There are rustling sounds as the horses settle. A low breath here, the drag of a hoof there.
How can it be such a normal night in the barn when my life is completely undone?
A horse snorts and swings its dark head over the stall door, right in our path. Zoey jumps a little, pressing her hand to her chest.
“This is Merlin,” I tell her, reaching forward to pat his neck. He bobs his head, flapping his lips and whinnying low in his throat.
Zoey clutches my arm, almost ducking behind me.
“Do you not like horses?”
“No, I do. It’s just … He’s judging us. Look at his eyes!”
I laugh, but don’t disagree. Merlin’s dark eyes do hold something almost human. Right now he looks like he knows exactly what we were just doing in the tack room. “He can judge all he wants. Go on, boy.”
With another snort, he stamps his hoof and swings his head back over the door. As we walk, the air has changed between us. Like the temperature has taken a sharp dip. I can almost hear Zoey’s thoughts, banging around inside her head.
“Everything okay?”
“What are we doing, Gavin?”
I slow us to a stop, resisting the urge to wrap her up in my arms again. She needs to speak, and I need to give her the space to do so. I don’t answer, because I sense that her question is more the start of something.
“I mean, this is so sudden, isn’t it?” she continues. “Except it’s not. It’s two years of longings and feelings. I know you. But I don’t. You're my boss. But you aren’t. Anyway. The point is … I don’t know what the point is.”
She seems to sag, and my heart glows in my chest, burning to be nearer. I curl one arm over her shoulders, kissing the top of her head.
“Why don’t we give this a little room to breathe? I’m dead serious about you. But I don’t want to rush. I’ve dreamed of kissing you for so long, dreamed of dinners and walks in parks and anything else you might want. I know there are complications. With time, we can work on them. Figure them out. This week was intense. But we don’t have to jump ahead.”
She nods, but it’s too quick. I sense the impending freak-out building inside her. I wish I could spread my hands over the span of her rib cage and hold it all inside her, soothe the worry away.
“Gavin?”
“Yes?”
“Can we ride horses tomorrow?”
I blink at the change of subject. Maybe the freak-out wasn’t impending after all, or maybe it’s just