And yet the desperate part of me I keep so tamed, that Abby jokes I bind up with the tightness of my ponytails, is trying to break free. She doesn’t care if Gavin is my boss. Or was smiling for some other woman on the phone.
She only cares that Gavin is here, now. Looking at me with a heat that I think has scorched my insides.
I do what I do best when I’m trying to keep myself under control. I overcompensate. Making my eyes as cold as I possibly can, I lift one brow to give him what Abby calls my death stare.
“Do you need something else?”
He frowns, that warmth in his eyes disappearing into something more like concern. “Did I do something wrong? Is it something I said?”
“No.”
Gavin blows out a frustrated breath. “We’ve worked together for two years now. I’d like to think that I know you pretty well, and something is clearly wrong.”
“You don’t know me at all.”
I have to bite the inside of my cheek because the words hurt to say. I can tell by the flash of emotion in his eyes that the words struck him as well.
What I said is true. But I don’t want it to be. Despite all the reasons I shouldn’t, I would give this man everything. Tell him my deepest secrets, share my life with him. Maybe there was a tiny part of me that hoped after I took another job, I’d run into Gavin casually. We’d strike up a conversation, ending with him asking me on a date and then we’d live happily ever after.
I feel like such a fool.
I turn my attention back to the computer, even though everything in me wants to apologize for being cold, for being rude. I want to apologize, to tell Gavin that I’m not mad. But what can I say? I’m just jealous of the girlfriend I didn’t know you even had, so I’m taking it out on you? Stop being so handsome and so taken and so much my boss, you big handsome jerk?
Yeah, no.
And so I keep my eyes fixed on the computer screen so hard that my retinas feel like they’re burning, until Gavin finally gives up on me, walking right out of the office without saying another word.
Chapter Five
Gavin
When I leave the office, I’m trying not to overthink the conversation with Zoey. Something was definitely off with her. Or maybe I just misread? But she seemed upset. Almost … angry.
It stung when she said I didn’t know her at all. She’s right in so many ways. I don’t know much about her personal life. But I know that she runs her hands over her hair when she’s stressed. I know she proofreads every email before hitting send. I know she keeps a secret stash of chocolate in her desk drawer, sneaking pieces only when she thinks no one is looking.
Except I’m always looking.
I try to shake off thoughts of Zoey as I head toward the north side of Austin, letting the navigation system direct me toward Nancy’s house. I helped her purchase the house years back, but I haven’t been out here since then. At that point she had followed me along to three different businesses. I felt like she needed a reward.
Maybe it’s strange that I bought my assistant a house and that I still have a key. But my relationship with Nancy is far more than a typical business one. Her sister worked on our ranch for years. My parents might be simple, salt-of-the-earth types, but they ran hundreds of thousands of acres. Hiring a cook and house cleaner wasn’t the same as it would be if I did the same here in Austin.
Patty was a fixture in my household growing up, almost like family. She made a lot of the meals but also ate with us. She cleaned, but also kept me out of trouble when Mom was busy with my younger brothers or the ranch duties. So, when I moved here and needed an assistant I could trust, Patty’s sister, Nancy, was the obvious choice. Not even a choice, really. A given.
Her house is a modest ranch on the north side of Austin. I passed a lot of families outside and signs in front yards for the high school football team even though it’s almost June. Football is king of all the seasons here.
This is the kind of life you missed out on, I couldn’t help but think to myself as I drove