Fall to Pieces - Shari J. Ryan Page 0,74

stuck with him because I wanted to help him get better. Then, I couldn’t do it anymore. I haven’t been in love with Keegan for more than five years. I haven’t wanted to be his friend in over two. There was nothing left. I had been miserably faithful to that man for over a decade. Then he set me free … I guess the only way he knew how.”

I have the urge to reach over and take August’s hand, but I realize how inappropriate that would be at this moment. “You are brave,” Alana tells her.

August closes her eyes, her lashes flutter over her cheeks, and she swallows again. “After Keegan passed away, I had the urge to understand what I couldn’t, while he was alive, so I started drinking. I drank as much as I could every day for almost two weeks.” August lets out a small nervous laugh. “I realize that’s nothing to be ashamed of in just two weeks, but what I learned was that whiskey made me forget about my life. I stopped caring for others and myself. It was a break from reality.”

The reactions from everyone around us are synonymous. There is pain written across all the faces.

“What did you feel?” Alana asks.

“I didn’t feel anything, but I saw pain ... the pain I was causing people—family and even strangers. I saw the bottom of a lake after falling in and hitting my head. I saw a warning at work. I saw the evil in people. I saw rock bottom after only two weeks. But the pain hid behind the numbness. It was easier that way.” August breaks her stare from the wall across the room and peers over at me.

“Then, I made a friend who has been trying to help me the way I always tried to help Keegan. It has meant the world to me, which is confusing when I try to figure out why my devotion didn’t do the same for Keegan.”

I can’t help but wonder if August is touching anyone’s innermost thoughts in here. It’s hard enough sometimes to see our personal self-destruction, so I can’t imagine how hard it is to see what our choices do to others.

“You are a courageous woman, April. I admire you for your strength and will to help Keegan. What happened to Keegan was a decision based on his struggles. It had nothing to do with you. You need to understand that. We all know that drinking doesn’t solve anything—it’s an escape, not a solution.”

“I’m sorry if I don’t belong here,” August says. “I felt like I was drowning in misery, and even though it was only a two-week bender, I started feeling the urge to keep drinking, and I don’t want to feel that again.

The one thing that came out of this experience, which I’m not sure is good or bad, is that I have a better understanding of how hard it must have been for him to try to stop drinking.”

Everyone in the group claps, and it surprises me. “Take Keegan’s second chance and live the way you wish he would have,” the woman next to me says.

“Who else would like to share?” Alana asks.

August sits back into her chair and releases a breath. I reach over and run my fingers through her hair, reminding her I’m here, and I will stay by her side.

The next forty-five minutes fly by with stories I never imagined hearing, and it makes me wonder how many of the nightly patrons at Kenny’s are going through the same thing. There was a time when I wondered if people thought I might have a drinking problem due to my nightly routine at Kenny’s, but I stopped caring because I know the real reason; I don’t want to eat alone.

When we arrive back at August’s Jeep behind Kenny’s, I can’t help feeling a million different things. I wish I could bring August with me to my meeting too, but I can’t. It’s something I must do on my own. Having someone I could share my excitement with this morning was new and more than I could have wanted. I don’t remember the last time someone has been happy for me or supported me the way she did.

“I know we just spent all night and morning together, but would you think I’m crazy if I asked you to have dinner with me at a real restaurant tonight?” I ask her as she’s reaching for the Jeep’s door handle.

“Are you saying