Faker - Sarah Smith Page 0,89
guy does it for you, then? Like, downstairs?”
I’m full-body blushing. Kaitlin is the only person other than Addy who knows about my past sexual relationships. “Hell to the yes.”
“Now that’s a guy worth being smitten over.”
“He’s worth his weight in gold when it comes to that stuff.”
“Seriously?” She interrogates me about his bedroom skills, but I clarify that we’ve only messed around and that so far it’s been focused on my pleasure.
“Well, holy hot damn.” There’s a long pause, then a breathy laugh. “So he kisses like a demon, you’ve had phone sex with him, he’s gone down on you, and he puts your pleasure before his?”
“Uh-huh. But even when we’re just together and not doing anything sexual, he gives me feelings I’ve never, ever felt with anyone before. Every single time. I’m comfortable around him, but the excitement is always there too. It’s an intimacy I’ve never had with anyone before.”
She whistles. “You lucky wench.”
“No guy I’ve been with has even come close to making me feel the way he does, Kaitlin. Not the overly confident ones, not the sensible guys, not the ultranice guys too shy to take control. But Tate . . . Something about him . . . I really, really like him.”
“I can tell.” She giggles. “You two have history and tension, and that can build some serious chemistry.”
I explain his introversion and the breakup that set off his tendency to hold back in relationships.
“Ah yes,” Kaitlin says. “The brooding, private type who doesn’t open up to just anyone, and you’re the lucky woman he wants to let inside.”
“I’ve never had chemistry with someone so closed off before. The way he opens up to me is unlike anything I’ve ever felt.”
“Emmie, honey, I love you, but you’re just like him.”
I fall against the doorframe of my closet. “Excuse me?”
“Look, I know you joke about how you are this completely different person at work, and in a lot of ways you are. But honestly? That hard exterior you put up during the workweek? That’s a form of being closed off.”
“What do you mean?”
“I say this with love. I’ve been your best friend since high school. You’ve always put up a hardened front to keep from getting hurt, to keep from showing weakness. You did it during school, in college. You’re real and loyal to the people close to you, but everyone else has to earn their way in. When someone’s shown themselves to be worthy, that’s when you let your guard down. Then you’re sweet and kind.”
I almost choke on my next breath. She’s right.
“And for the record, you say it’s all pretend, but it’s not. I know you. The real you is a sweetheart, but you’re a fighter too. You have been since you were a little kid. For some reason you think you can’t be hard and soft at the same time. You absolutely can. You’ve done it your whole life; you do it every day. That’s you in a nutshell.”
In the seconds that I take to process everything, I realize Kaitlin is spot on. I don’t know why I never thought of myself as capable or strong before. Tate even pointed it out during our make-out session in his car, but it didn’t hit me the way Kaitlin’s words do right now.
“You act like you’re this tough faker when you’re just being you.”
I swallow, stunned. “Thank you for the impromptu analysis, Dr. Kaitlin.”
“Addy says the same thing. Don’t be so shocked that you connect with a guy who harbors the same personality quirks as you. Also, he’s fucking hot. That helps.”
In the background, I hear Ethan scolding her gently.
“Oh, honey, she didn’t hear me. She’s playing with her blocks, look!”
Slowly, I ease out of the shock. “Leave it to my best friend and little sister to know me better than I do.”
“And now leave it to me to help you get dressed.”
I shove a row of clothes to one side of the closet. The hangers drag loudly across the wooden rod. “Black is good, right? It’s classic. Simple. Nondescript.”
“Black is sexy as hell, especially on you. Wear that black shift dress, the slinky one with the long sleeves.”
“It’s a sauna outside,” I moan.
“But you’ll be indoors, and the AC will probably be cranked. You can push the sleeves up if you get hot. Wear those nude heels with it. Your legs will look a million miles long. You’ll blow him away.”
I glance at the clock on my nightstand. It’s nearly six o’clock. I