Faked - Karla Sorensen Page 0,53

was a sad state of affairs that even when I had fantasized about kissing someone important to me, my brain had never conjured that kind of furious, fierce hunger. An unrepentant want seizing both of us until we couldn't touch enough, taste enough, or push our bodies closely enough.

I didn't want Bauer to hold back.

I didn't want him to worry that I was overthinking or would regret my time with him.

But I was overthinking. And it needed to stop.

Normally, I'd ask Lia what I should do, but I grimaced when I thought about how patently unhappy this would make her. She'd hate it.

No, for this one, I picked up my phone and tapped out a text to the sister who, above all else, would give me honesty and pragmatism alongside her always blunt delivery.

Me: On a scale of 1-10, how stupid would it be to sleep with Bauer when we're trapped in a cabin until at least tomorrow...

I pinched my eyes shut as I hit send. My phone buzzed almost immediately.

Isabel: IF YOU DON'T, I EXCOMMUNICATE YOU AS MY SISTER.

Isabel: Are you seriously questioning this???? That man looked at you like you were an entire MEAL that he wanted to devour, and I cannot fathom one reason you wouldn't.

Isabel: Wait. Unless you don't want to. IF YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO, say no, and if he doesn't listen, I'm strapping on my snow boots and I'll rip his balls off and run them through A MEAT GRINDER.

My laughter was soft, and immediately, my eyes pricked with overwhelmed tears. It was a rare gift to be surrounded by women in my life who would commit such violent acts on my behalf without thinking twice.

Me: No, no ripping and grinding necessary.

Isabel: Do you even realize how wide open you leave yourself for explicit comments after texts like that?

Me: Ha. Sorry. You know what I meant.

Me: I like him. More than I thought I would.

Isabel: Listen, C, if you're looking for someone to give you permission to quit overthinking and just DO THE THING, then I'm your girl. He's gorgeous, funny, and there's no denying he's into you. The better question is why wouldn't you?

Isabel: Don't think too hard about what happens when you come home. Okay? If today is what you have with him, then let him teach you all the wonderful things that he undoubtedly knows. And if that's impossible for you, then ask HIM out on a date when you AND the roads have been plowed, because holy shit, women can do the asking and there's nothing wrong with it. He'd probably friggin love it if you did.

I chewed on my lip, trying to stop the smile at the way her advice lifted the slight pressure on my chest at Bauer's self-imposed distance. She was right. He did want this, and he'd wanted it longer than I had. And no matter how badly we tried to ignore the way the bruises deep in our souls affected our relationships, this was the perfect example.

I wanted him.

He wanted me.

But I was overthinking because I wanted to know that everything would turn out okay.

He was pulling away because of how strongly he avoided possible rejection. Yes, he was protecting me, but he was protecting himself too.

We were products of our circumstances, but we didn't have to let those circumstances steer the wheel of every choice we made. A lot of people did, but sitting there in the slowly darkening loft, I didn't want to anymore.

When the sun rose in the morning, there was no way I'd look at Bauer with regret or disappointment. No, I couldn't guarantee how this would play out, but what I knew about him and how he was making me feel was enough.

I stood and turned on the small lamp on the dresser, casting the loft in a soft yellow glow. With careful movements, I pulled off my sweatshirt and smoothed my hands down the front of my simple T-shirt. As seductive outfits went, it wasn't my top choice, but so far, that hadn't been an issue for Bauer.

The elastic in my hair came out easily, and my hair fell around my shoulders, messy waves left behind from the way I'd had it pulled back after my shower. The girl staring back at me in the mirror wasn't overthinking anything. She knew exactly what and who she wanted.

I took the stairs quietly and paused when I saw Agnes sitting on the corner of the bottom one. She licked her