this like a date? Seth loved him, and Nick … felt some way toward him back, and it was just the two of them, and what if Seth wanted to go get something to eat? At a restaurant? Nick probably had four dollars in his wallet. And maybe, like, forty cents. Skwinkles Salsagheti had ended up costing more than he thought it would, but it was totally okay. Maybe they could get tacos or something. One taco. For the both of them. “We’ll have to split it right down the middle,” Nick said, slightly panicked.
“Split what?”
Nick forgot that Seth couldn’t read his mind. “Nothing! Absolutely nothing at all. Gosh, it’s certainly a nice day out today!”
“You okay?”
What a loaded question. “Yes?”
“Good,” Seth said. “Come on.”
Oh no. This was a date.
* * *
It wasn’t a date.
It was just two bros walking side by side down the sidewalk. They’d done it a billion times before. Sure, they’d never done it after Seth’s uncle had flapped his lips, but still. Two bros doing bro stuff.
“Just being bros,” Nick said aloud.
Seth stared at him strangely. “You’re acting weird.”
Nick shrugged and looked away. “It’s been a very weird forty-eight hours.”
“Yeah? How come?”
Nick liked that. He liked that a lot. Because regardless of what else was going on between them, regardless of how uneven their footing, Seth gave a damn. He always had. “Had a fight with my dad.”
“You told me. Sucks.”
“Yeah. And I didn’t take my pill this morning.”
“I thought as much. You’re a little more jittery than normal.”
Nick sighed. “I dunno. I was mad, and he bought me Cinnamon Bread-Shaped Chomps because that’s how he says sorry, and I ate it, but I still wasn’t in a forgiving mood, so I didn’t do anything about it.”
“Is this about what he said?”
Nick looked away, unable to answer, Dad’s voice still ringing in his head.
“Is that why…” Seth shook his head.
“Is that why what?”
Seth swallowed thickly. “Is that why yesterday you—I don’t know. You were agitated. We didn’t leave things okay.”
“Maybe. I’m sorry I acted like a jerk. I’m glad you feel better.”
“Yeah,” Seth said, and actually looked up at Nick. “I’m feeling okay now.” Then, “Did my uncle say something to you?”
A bright flare of panic roared through Nick, and he said, “Not really. I barely saw him.”
“That’s … that’s good.”
“Yeah. Oh, hey, look. Train’s on time. Hurry up!”
He could barely ignore the stuttering thumpthumpthump of his heart.
* * *
It didn’t help, later, when they were sitting side by side on the train, that Seth opened his backpack and pulled out the package of Skwinkles Salsagheti. “I thought maybe we could, you know. Share them.”
This was totally maybe a date. Right?
Nick cleared his throat. “Uh. Sure. That would be—that’s cool.”
“Okay. I’ve never had these before.”
“Me either.”
“They look … edible?”
“They’re probably sour,” Nick said. “Mom spent time in Mexico when she was a kid. She said a lot of the candy is sour there.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah. Grandma and Grandpa went there to help build houses or something. She was there for almost a year.”
“That’s why she was good at Spanish?”
Nick nodded, pleased Seth had remembered. “Yeah. She said the best way to learn a language is to be immersed in it. You don’t have a choice otherwise.”
“She was pretty great.”
Her memory still hurt, but it had lost its sharp edges. “I think so too.”
Seth handed him a strand of Salsagheti. “Supposed to be watermelon-flavored.”
“You want me to go first?”
Seth smiled quietly at him. “Same time?”
“Okay.” Nick tilted his head back, holding the candy dangling over his mouth. He glanced over, and Seth was doing the same. “Ready? One. Two. Three.”
Nick had been right. It was sour. Edible, but sour.
He tilted his head forward in time to see Seth’s eyes bulging, his face screwed up in a grimace, a piece of Salsagheti hanging out of his mouth. “So good,” Seth managed to say, though he sounded like he was dying.
“Oh my god,” Nick said, laughing at him. “You hate it!”
“I don’t hate it. I just wasn’t expecting it to taste like that.”
“Like what?”
Seth swallowed it down. “Like it murdered my mouth.”
Nick bumped his shoulder. Seth bumped back.
Maybe it wasn’t a date.
But it was still good.
* * *
Good, that is, until Seth didn’t show on Saturday when they were supposed to meet. Neither did Owen, but Seth was the one Nick had been looking for. The past couple of days had been better, and Nick thought he and Seth were getting back to where they belonged. Nick’s