and put it into the microwave. You want to nuke the cricket and then have it bite you.”
“Yes,” Nick said, grateful he had a best friend like Seth who understood him. “That’s exactly what I want to do. Thank you, Seth, for being the way you are. It’s truly—”
Seth sighed. “Nicky, I don’t know why I need to explain to you how many things are wrong with that.”
Nick frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“First, crickets don’t bite people.”
“Wrong,” Jazz said, looking down at her phone. “According to this website on crickets called CricketsAreCool.com, it’s rare, but they do.” She wrinkled her nose. “Though apparently they carry a significant number of diseases. But it’s okay! None of them are fatal to humans. If anything, maybe that will be a part of your superpowers. In addition to shock-wave legs, you’ll be able to make people moderately ill.”
Gibby lay on the bed, tears streaming down her face as she rocked back and forth.
“Second,” Seth said through gritted teeth, “if you put a bug in the microwave, it’ll die.”
“Not if I only make it for five seconds or so,” Nick said. “I think.”
“Third, isn’t torturing animals the first sign of becoming a serial killer?”
That gave Nick pause. “Huh. I hadn’t thought of it that way. But it’s a bug that scares me, so therefore, it’s inherently evil. I don’t think crickets qualify as animals because they don’t have souls or feelings. Like, you hear about dog ghosts and tiger ghosts, but you never hear about bug ghosts, right? Also, to become a serial killer, I think you have to wet the bed with alarming frequency and have had a head injury at some point in your life.”
“You wet the bed at my house when you were seven and tried to tell me you got juice in the middle of the night and accidentally spilled it on the bed.”
That set Gibby off all over again as Nick stared at Seth in horror. “You monster! And it was juice!”
“Juice that smelled like urine,” Seth retorted.
“Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t believe me?” Nick demanded. “All these years, I thought I’d gotten away with it. What other secrets are you keeping from me?” He pointed at Seth, finger trembling. “Does this have to do with your secret girlfriend and/or boyfriend? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”
That made Gibby stop laughing. She immediately sat up just as Jazz’s mouth dropped open. “Your secret what?”
Seth crossed his arms. “I don’t have—it’s not like that. I don’t—ugh.”
“We were talking about kissing,” Nick said.
“You were?” Jazz asked. “Oh my god, finally. Tell me everything.”
Nick blinked. “Wait, what? I told him I’d kissed Owen, and then he said he’d kissed someone, but wouldn’t tell me who.”
“Oh,” Jazz said, shoulders drooping. “That’s … not what I thought this was going to be about. How disappointing.”
“Who did you kiss?” Gibby asked Seth. “And also, followup: What other secrets do you have that you’re not telling us about? Maybe something you’ve kept hidden in the—”
“Will you excuse us for a second?” Seth asked, and before Nick could stop him, he’d grabbed Gibby by the arm and pulled her from the room.
“Strange,” Jazz said in the silence that followed. “I wonder what that’s about.”
“You really don’t know about Seth kissing anyone?” Nick asked, glaring at the empty doorway.
“Would it matter if I did? He can do what he wants. Why do you care so much?”
“We tell each other everything.”
She fanned out her fingers in front of her, checking her red polish. “Really? That’s the only reason?”
Nick looked at her blankly. “What other reason is there?”
She sighed as she dropped her hand. “I thank my lucky stars every day I’m not a man. So much bluster for nothing.”
“We can be pretty stupid,” Nick agreed. “But I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I worked really hard to get that cricket.”
He glanced at the jar. The cricket was hopping up and down. He felt bad. “I know.”
“And now you want to put it in the microwave.”
“That’s the plan.”
“I don’t want you to be a serial killer. Torturing animals and wetting the bed. A decade from now, I’ll be interviewed for some news show, and I’ll cry on camera and everything when I have to say no one saw it coming. Why would you do that to me, Nicky? Do you want to see my makeup ruined on national television from your maximum-security jail cell?”
Damn her. She knew exactly what to say to get through