one time. Feasibility aside, the cost and exposure would bring this program to its knees. You’re willing to jeopardize a system that’s been working successfully for over six decades to protect your family? What about the next person who needs it? What happens when we need to put your father in it?”
“You shouldn’t have hired addicted people to handle sensitive data.”
Sean speaks up: “You shouldn’t have exploited him. How about we just take you out to a field and put a bullet in you.”
Even the two silent superiors at the table tell Sean to calm down and watch his tone.
“No,” I say, “see, that’s how we handle business. You guys aren’t capable. Besides, I’m sure everyone in here knows that if I die, that list will surface instantly. I’d say you might’ve never tried so hard to protect someone as you will with me.”
Ciacco put his hands on the back of his chair and pushes down. “You honestly expect us to let the Bovaro crew do whatever they want?”
“You’re doing it right now, waiting to find evidence. Consider this a lifetime of never finding it.”
Sean takes a few steps forward, stretches, walks to the door. “There’s no list.”
Just before he leaves the room, I say, “Sean, would you agree Gardner was, in a sense, an employee of both the Department of Justice and the Bovaro family?”
He doesn’t respond immediately. “I suppose.”
“Which organization do you think is more effective in dealing with problem employees? You still don’t see it, but Gardner had enough sense to know he was safer turning on Justice.”
He stares at me like he’s looking at a dead body in a coffin, licks his lips and purses them a little. “There is no list.” He pulls the door behind him gently, does not return.
“I want the list of every person in the program,” I demanded. “I want their names and addresses.”
Gardner gagged. “I can’t do—”
“Sure you can. You already have. I’ve got Melody’s address—and you can supply the rest.”
“Are you insane? That’s thousands of—”
“I don’t care. I want the list.”
I remember the look of regret on his face, the last time I ever saw a shred of remorse come over him, the look that suggested his entire life just got flushed down the toilet.
Then, weakly: “I can’t.”
“You will.”
Gardner shrunk into himself, curled up like a snail into its shell. He sat down and put his knees together, quickly calculated the consequence of such an act.
“That’s the line.”
“The line?”
“That I will never cross.” He sat back, went completely pale, looked as pained as if he’d been beaten with a club. “Do what you have to do, knock me around, but you will never get that out of me. Never.”
His reluctance did infuriate me, had me stepping toward him with a tightening fist. But as he sat in his chair, not even throwing up a hand to block me, doing nothing more than turning his face and wincing, I loosened my hand and stepped back. I stared at him for a few seconds, then walked to the door. I paused with my body halfway out, turned back and looked him in the eye.
“But, theoretically… you could get it. Right?”
I can lie, can break the rules and break the law, just as Sean suggested. I suppose that’s the difference between me and Justice: The Bovaros have always had a sensational passing game. Watch now as my Hail Mary drops gently into the center of the end zone.
Like it matters. We’re already ahead by twenty-eight points.
SIX
I haven’t been driven by someone in close to a year. Like the family member who takes all the pictures, I am rarely in them. So as Sean shepherds me from under the courthouse in a bulletproof Explorer, its interior lined with dials and gadgets and weapons, all designed for apprehending or killing people just like me, this transport feels more peculiar than comforting, sends a shiver through me to know the rifle locked down between us might’ve been used to send a round through the back of my head. How strange it seems, now that I’m safely wrapped in their protective arms, that I finally understand just how cavalier I acted in those overlapping moments when I spirited Melody away, what they could’ve done given the opportunity, how I was likely spared by the casting of Sean’s ulterior motive.
As we turn onto the alley, I see the parking lot where I waited for Melody to surface—Dr. Bajkowski’s parking space. And once we’re on Hanover, I glance