Evil - Tijan Page 0,31

going to let it out, not when I was finally getting answers. “I’m…how…there’s a lot that I don’t understand, Kellan.”

He nodded, sympathetic. “I’m sorry. I am.” Then he looked away. “I can’t lie to you. I—”

“What?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head abruptly. “I can’t tell you anything more. I don’t know anything more.”

I was half of a messenger. He was half of a demon. Who the hell were our parents? How did we end up under the same roof? “Do Vespar and Gus know?”

“No!” Kellan laughed out, hoarse. “God no. They’d… They can’t know. Trust me.”

“Why?” Although I was pretty sure I knew why.

“Because they’d kill you. You know that.”

I had, but it was painful hearing it. “And you? Why don’t you kill me? Why haven’t you tried?” I laughed. The sound came out nearly hysterical. “This makes us enemies, doesn’t it? Something inside of me wants to kill you. I’m sure your demon wants to do the same to me.”

Kellan quieted and watched me. His eyes seemed to pierce me, looking into my soul. It was uncomfortable and I waved a hand. “Stop it. Just…stop it. I can’t handle you being inside of me.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m trying to figure out what to say to you to make it better. I don’t know what to say right now.”

“You know everything.” All my life, Kellan had been our leader. He’d been the strongest. The fastest. The most powerful. The one who always knew what to do, who could handle anything. He couldn’t handle this and that said a lot. At the same time, it was like he’d taken a knife to my heart. I felt him stabbing me one, two, three times—like I’d been gutted. “What am I supposed to do with this information? Where do I go now?”

Something shifted in him, and he glanced to Leah’s room. “She’s okay?”

“Yeah. She’ll be fine now.”

“She won’t need me here?”

“No, she shouldn’t. I made it okay with her. I don’t know how, but she’ll be fine. She might remember, she might not. She might think of something to justify everything in her mind. I don’t know, but she’ll be fine. She’s at peace now.”

I had done that. The messenger inside of me had done that. It felt right, but strange. It also felt like I’d chosen a different side. The line had been drawn. With that action I chose the other side. Kellan might not admit it, but we were enemies. I felt it in me. A part of me wanted to kill him.

“Let’s go somewhere. I’ll…” But he didn’t know what to say. Kellan looked around, helpless. I saw it all over his face. It was heart-wrenching. He had no idea how to make this better, and my brother always knew. Then he frowned sharply. “Why did you come here again?”

Where did I start? “Vespar came up to me at school today. He thinks you’re angry with him. Then Gus pleaded with me to find you. She’s scared that you and Vespar are going to fight, breaking all of us up.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Why would Vespar think that I’m angry with him?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“Shay?”

“I might’ve told him that.”

A normal being would groan in frustration. Kellan flashed a smile. “Really?”

I couldn’t help but smile back. “Now I’m glad. They’re both on edge because of it. I was just going off what you told me, that Vespar thinks we’re going to war with them.”

He laughed now. “I said that because he does think it. I didn’t mean today or next week. I meant in the future. He knows the lines are drawn. He knows the alliances, and you and I are more powerful than those two. I have no intention of fighting them now.”

“They don’t need to know that.”

He quieted and asked, “Tell me the real reason why you found me.”

“Matt was replaced by Dylan Cavanagh. Vespar punched him in the hallway. I think he’s a little pissed. He’s already started trying to bully me. He threatened us, said that we won’t get away with half the stuff we do now.”

Kellan sobered, watching me. “That’s not why you sought me out either. Why, Shay?”

He was annoying when he did that. “I don’t know. I really don’t.” And I didn’t, not really. I could’ve guessed, but those were emotions I didn’t want to acknowledge, especially now.

“And if I were to guess, I’m sure Vespar or Giuseppa have already dealt with him. Am I right?” Both of his hands cupped