Evermore Academy (Evermore Academy #3) - Audrey Grey Page 0,70
be broken,” he continues, “a cruel, selfish, emotionally stunted asshole and all around wicked bastard, but deciding to love you was the best decision I ever made. Fuck Hellebore. Fuck Inara. Fuck them all. What we feel for each other is real, probably the realest thing in my jacked up life.”
The truth of his words are like a salve against my shame. This is totally different than what happened on the roof.
I trust Valerian.
In his eyes I see friendship and connection.
I see the shared pain of our past.
I see mutual respect and selflessness, a mate who has proven over and over that he would give up everything to protect me.
Most importantly, deep below the depths of the all-consuming bond, I see love. A love that comes once in a thousand lifetimes. That can’t be diminished or broken or taken.
Our love is the greatest magic we possess.
I reach out, cup the harsh plane of my mate’s cheek. My best friend and protector. “I love you, Valerian Sylverfrost.”
A low rumble vibrates his chest as he sags against me, his face dipping to my neck as he inhales. “You have no idea what you mean to me, Princess.” I inwardly pout as his hand takes the attention from my leg and plants against the marble wall. “And you have no idea how hard this is for me, but—I can’t.”
He jerks away suddenly, retreating to the other wall as if he doesn’t trust himself to stop. The rumble in his chest becomes a feline growl as he suddenly punches the wall, caving it in. I jump at the sound.
“I’m sorry.” His back is to me, his hand flexing and opening. It’s hard to believe the same hand that could punch a literal hole the size of a basketball in a marble wall was gently stroking my flesh seconds before. “I need to go before we do something we regret.”
“Wait,” I whisper, knowing I should let him leave and not caring. Every step he takes away from me twists the bond a little more. The thought of going back to how it was before almost kills me. “Please, don’t ice me out again.”
“Is it not easier for you that way?”
“Easy? Yes, seeing you and not being able to be with you is painful, but when you ice me out completely? You might as well ram a knife into my heart.” How does he not know cutting him out of my life feels like death?
His shoulders tighten but he doesn’t turn around. “I’ll deal with Inara. Don’t worry, you did nothing wrong. Hellebore won’t punish you.”
But what will he do to you? Before I can ask, he stalks down the hall. The second he’s out of sight, I slump against the wall and close my eyes.
Every emotion I’ve held at bay thus far hits at the same time. Humiliation. Anger. Hopelessness. Torment. The frustration of being so close to Valerian and then losing him again clumps in my chest until it’s hard to breathe. My heart aches with every erratic beat.
I was ready for Inara’s promise of torture tonight. I could have dealt with anything she threw at me—anything but this.
In a twisted way now I get why Valerian would think removing himself completely from my life is the better option. Because this pain? It’s excruciating, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
I had nearly forgotten what it felt like to connect with him. To feel his hands on my body, to see the way he worships every single thing I say and do. The way he dares to love me despite the way that hurts him.
And now my heart is breaking all over again. Especially considering that Valerian’s actions will have dire consequences for him.
My mind circles back to Hellebore’s actions. How did making Valerian react benefit Inara? Because I’m certain now that making me kiss him was deliberate and goes beyond causing Valerian pain. He could have forcibly touched me. Our contract allows it. But it was important to trick me into touching him. Just one more little detail to ensure my mate reacted.
My eyelids snap open. Valerian’s actions humiliated Inara in front of the most powerful members of each court.
Maybe this wasn’t Inara after all. Maybe I’m not the only one who came here tonight with plans to knock her down a few pegs and publicly humiliate her.
Why would Hellebore want to do that? What does he have to gain from hurting an ally?