Everlasting - Christine Michelle Page 0,51
another woman? My thoughts spun out of control, making me feel sick again, though there was nothing left to bring up. For one fleeting moment, I finally understood Momma Luce’s original reaction to me being introduced to her family. The horror of knowing the person you love most on the planet made another child with someone else, the devastation over the loss of that distinction. I used to be the only mother to his children. The rage I felt towards the woman, Deck, and even their child. I got it. Not only did I get it, but I understood my dad’s point of view finally too. He had to know what Lucy was feeling. They didn’t hide things from one another.
He had to be devastated, considering how I was conceived, and then to think he might lose the love of his life as a result, I finally understood the animosity that he must have started with when it came to me.
“Stop!” Anna finally got through to me with a light smack to my face. “Stop it, right now! I know what that looked like, but you know the crazy bitch enjoys playing games. We don’t know anything for sure. So stop whatever you’re thinking.”
“Anna, he looks healthy. No bruises.”
“You don’t know what kind of internal damage he’s taking though, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if they threatened you and the kids? What if they took pictures of you and showed them to him to gain his cooperation? You saw the pictures from before. He was in bad shape. If she is pregnant, if it is…” even my sister couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud. “It would have happened back then, when he was looking for all the world like a junkie in a back-alley drug deal gone wrong.”
“What if it is his and they bring him home? Does that mean we have to raise that child together? A child that may have been made in a rape? A child that another woman stole from him, basically?”
“Isn’t that what you were?”
Well, she had me there. What my mother had done might as well have been considered rape. She took my father’s choices away, that night, and every night after that she kept me a secret. Anna put her arms around me and gave me a hug before she led me back to the living room and helped me get seated on the couch.
“I’m not saying that woman is even pregnant with his baby, but if she is, and if they end up bringing Deck home with another little person in tow, I know that you will figure things out quickly, just like Mom did. Whatever happened out there, it wasn’t that child’s fault.”
That was when I broke. “Anna!” I rasped my sister’s name out and leaned into her shoulder and just let loose. “How can I? I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t have anything left inside.”
“Yes, you do. I know you’re exhausted. The constant worry, stress, caring for a new baby along with the twins, and still having to work some too… Sis, we all see it. We’ve all begged you to let us help. You can’t keep doing everything on your own. Those kids of yours need you, but you’re not going to be any good to them if you’re completely broken.”
“Anna, I already am,” I admitted the defeat I had already been feeling before the picture arrived.
“No, you are most definitely not, my beautiful sister. You’re just run down and losing faith, and no one can blame you. It’s been so long. Until today, none of us were even sure he was alive still, honey. This, while coming hand-in-hand with possible crappy news, is a good thing. You know he’s alive. He’s still out there. There’s still hope.”
“Ever!” I heard a woman call out from the front door.
“You called Erin?”
“She’s your best friend, I figured I needed backup.”
“Ev?” That time it was a man’s voice.
“And Zeke?” I asked.
Anna shrugged. “I guess they were together,” she explained as the two people in question rounded the corner and took in the state of things.
“What the hell happened?” Zeke asked. Anna stood and took him the photos that had been delivered. “Fuck!” He hissed out when he saw what had upset me. “Little Sis, I’m taking these to the clubhouse.” He turned to his wife then, “Erin, stay by her side until I get in touch again, oaky?”
“Like you had to ask me to do that,”