Everlasting - Christine Michelle Page 0,43
crying before. Her face immediately took on the red hue that let me know she was mortified.
“Sorry, Dad,” I managed to get out while stifling my giggles.
He just shook his head and then the best thing in the world happened. My father grinned at me and that grin turned into a wide, beautiful smile. “I was just thinking Lucy would be ready to punch the bastard for stealing her show and boring us to death.”
That admission from my father sparked more and more Lucy stories and, before I knew it, the funeral from hell turned into a true celebration of my mother’s life. I turned back to Toby’s grave, confident that I could finally move close enough to see what the shiny object was, only when I looked back, it was gone. “Good one, Toby!” I whispered. “Torment me to get my frustrations up and make me say something stupid. I should have seen that one coming a mile away.” Maybe it was just the stress or emotional overload, but I could have sworn I heard his laughter on the wind that day.
“Are you doing okay, little sis?” I turned to see Kane standing there with his two-year-old daughter Grace in his arms. I smiled at the little girl and reached forward to tickle her a little. The men of Permanent Marks had started calling me little sis years ago, and it struck a chord today. Thinking Toby had been here with us in some way earlier and having another man call me his sister, it just sent a wave of both undying gratitude and love through me.
“As well as can be expected,” I offered with a shrug.
“I know you’ve had a lot to handle lately, Ev. Just know that we’re here. Whatever you need, okay? All of us. You aren’t alone. You have me! You have Gretchen, Zeke, Erin, and even that insufferable child Sully has your back.”
“I appreciate that,” I told him before leaning forward and planting a kiss on Grace’s chubby little cheek. My own girls were in my father’s arms. They both held on to him tightly as he spoke to Merc, as if they knew he needed that lifeline. Tiger Lily was pushing the stroller that my son occupied back and forth as her shoulders shook. My momma was her best friend. I didn’t know how any of us were going to move on without the woman who made us all far better people than we should have been.
Jay, Christina, and their son Pike, who was attempting to toddle around at their feet, were looking in my direction. I hated the emotion I saw on their faces because it too closely resembled pity. That was the last thing I needed. This day wasn’t even about me. Yes, I lost the best mother I’d ever had, my friend, my confidante. My loss was miniscule compared to my father’s though. I wished everyone would rally around him and make sure he didn’t have a moment alone. I knew all too well what that first one would feel like. The first time that you were left to your thoughts. I may have been young, but I remembered what it was like after my birth mom died.
She may have been the whore who the men of the club claimed she was, but to me, she was always a good mother. Except for the part where she failed to tell me who my father was and allow me to be a part of his life. In that respect, she had been a selfish bitch, but I hadn’t known that when I first lost her. I simply knew she was my whole world.
Then, when Toby died, those first moments alone after, they were a different kind of pain that was laced with all my regrets for not making things better between us sooner. I could have helped our relationship along quicker. I didn’t and that would always be a weight on my heart.
When I’d finally been told that Deck was missing, that was an entirely different kind of pain. While it was one laced with hope that he’d return, it still killed tiny little pieces of me as I tried to breathe and live without him by my side for the first time since we were married. So, yeah, I didn’t know exactly what my father was going through, but I knew that the love of his life was gone. They had been married for 29 years and they had met