Everlasting - Christine Michelle Page 0,36
matter the name you gave him. Hell, if I know that man as well as I think I do, he’ll cherish the name because you were the one to give it to his son when he couldn’t.” And that was where I lost my battle with my emotions. Sobs broke free along with the tears. I knew he was right. I just couldn’t bring myself to face my own fears.
“I’m just afraid that if I name him, if I make it all real, then he’ll think we’ve given up on him coming back.”
“You know that’s not true. He’ll know it too.”
“I just need him back, dad. I need him back here with us.”
“I know you do, baby girl. I know.” My father then did something I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with. He pulled me into the arm that wasn’t holding my son, and he held onto me so tight that for the first time in months, I felt like I wouldn’t float away. He let me stay there, in the protected embrace of his arms, until I finally got myself under control. Then he tipped my chin up and looked me in the eye. “Now tell me my grandson’s name,” he demanded.
“Archer,” I whispered.
“Archer,” he repeated with a grin. “That’s a solid name you have there, little man. Won’t even need a road name when you join the club one day.”
I laughed at that, because it had been Deck’s fate too. He didn’t really get a road name, just a shortened version of his own. “Like father, like son,” I mumbled.
“Exactly!” My dad cooed at my boy. “You’re going to grow up big and strong just like your daddy, aren’t you! I know your sisters are older than you, but it’s still going to be your job to protect them and your momma from the world. Don’t worry, you have a really strong mom too. She’ll handle things until you’re able.”
Gah! My heart could not possibly continue to take the beating my dad was putting it through. At least these days, it was of the wonderfully beautiful variety though, rather than the heartbreaking beatings it used to take when he would ignore me.
“Thanks,” I managed to choke out.
“Don’t thank me for telling the truth,” he told me before planting a kiss on my forehead and then shifting his attention back to my son. “He really is a remarkable mix of the two of you.”
“I know. I can’t wait to see what he looks like as he grows up.”
“Don’t rush it away. Time goes too fast already, especially when you’re well loved. Those bitches that call themselves the fates like to slow things down when you’re miserable. When you’re happy, in love, or your heart is full, time speeds on like a rocket until you look up one day and realize how much of it has passed you by.”
“Feeling your old age?” I asked with a grin.
He scratched at his completely silver beard. “I guess you could say that.”
“How’s Mom doing?”
“She’s going well. Still sneaking into my letters though.”
I laughed. “I knew you would know she was doing it.”
“I caught her the last time I was home,” he admitted. “She had me worried that day. I was actually glad she read that one while I was there.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what the letter was about, but my dad saw the question in my eyes and answered me anyway.
“It was written shortly after Toby’s death.” I could see the moisture gather in his eyes at his admission. “My frame of mind wasn’t the best at the time so I’m sure it was an extremely difficult letter for your mom to read.”
“I can imagine,” I offered. “She tried to get me to read one of those letters once.”
“Did you?”
“No. I think I may have hurt her feelings a little bit because I told her I still believed both you and Deck were coming home, so I didn’t need to read the words of a dead man.”
He looked at me funny then. “I’m not dead,” he deadpanned.
“Nope, but I’m guessing you meant those letters to be read after you are no longer around, right?”
“You always were too smart for your own good. That’s true, but I think, in a weird way it’s been giving your mom a little comfort when I’m away, so I indulge her by leaving them where she found them.” He shook his head and adjusted Archer as he took a seat in the reclining