Eternal Sin (Primal Sin #2) - Ariana Nash Page 0,67
was back, lashing through him, demanding to be set free. She thought him weak, thought him distracted and broken by emotion because she didn’t know what it felt like to love, and as horrible as it had been, there had been moments of light and laughter and warmth. Moments Mikhail wished had never happened because it made what was about to happen all the more painful.
“And you still love him?” she asked, swiping her fingers across her information pad.
Last night, with Severn pulled close, he’d wished they hadn’t come to Haven, he’d wished they’d carried on walking, right to the ends of the earth if necessary. He’d wished he were not a guardian, that the war didn’t need to be fought, and that the angels did not rely on him for a victory over an enemy he was no longer sure he hated.
“Mikhail?” Tien looked up. “You still love him, after everything you know? You love a demon?”
Love a demon? He supposed he did. “Yes.”
“And you want us to remove that feeling so that you might become Aerie’s guardian again?”
Mikhail stared her in the eye. “Yes.” His heart fluttered, like a butterfly with just days to live. “But… give me another day?”
Tien frowned. “Why?”
“I want to…” He looked down at his hands on the table, hands that had burned Severn’s wings. “…to say goodbye.”
“All right. We’ll collect you tomorrow evening for the procedure.”
“What will happen to Severn?”
“We have facilities for jilted lovers like him. He’ll be cared for.”
They surely knew who he really was. Konstantin. “Even knowing his origins?”
“You don’t need to worry.” Tien stood and tucked the information pad under her arm. “Haven is the best place for you both. It always was. You’re doing the right thing.”
She escorted him back through the administration building to the marble steps. “I’m looking forward to welcoming you back into the fold, Mikhail. A guardian such as yourself has a bright future ahead of him.”
He smiled at her words, wishing he could find some warmth in them. She was turning back toward the doors when a thought occurred to him.
“Tien… A library? Is there one here?”
“A library?” she asked, eyes narrowing. “Whatever do you want with a library?”
“Books, naturally?”
She huffed. “No, there’s no library. All of our written works were transcribed into data years ago. Only administrators have access. If there’s some information you seek, I’m sure I can find it for you.”
“Thank you.” But how could he go about asking after Aerius and Seraphim without raising suspicion? He dipped his chin, bidding her a silent and respectful farewell, and watched her disappear inside the building.
Bright morning light warmed him through, amplified by Haven’s domes, but guilt twisted, eel-like inside Mikhail’s chest. This did not feel right, but his emotions would always get in the way of the necessary. As a guardian, he had no room in his life for such things. He’d been distracted, he’d killed angels and people, he’d brought devastation upon Tower Bridge, and that power was growing, not receding. He had to do this. He had to stop himself, just as Severn had said. Severn would understand. Maybe not initially, but eventually, he’d see reason.
In a day, these wretched emotions would be gone.
In a day, his love would be gone too.
He had twenty-four hours left to love Severn.
As though summoning him by thought alone, Severn hastily jogged down one of the interconnecting paths toward him. He seemed flustered, his hair loose and face hot.
“Mikhail, I… Are you all right?” Severn asked, out of breath.
“Fine.” He descended the remaining steps and captured Severn’s hands in his. “It’s a beautiful day. Spend it with me?”
Uncertainty pinched Severn’s brow. “What about the book?”
Mikhail drew Severn close and peered down into his uncertain eyes. “There’s no library. All information is electronic. I’ve spoken with a guardian. She’ll help me find what we need, but I can’t press her too quickly, or she’ll grow suspicious.”
“All right…” he agreed warily. But then Mikhail bowed his head, and Severn immediately lifted his, the promise of a kiss suddenly between them. Gods, Mikhail loved the way Severn responded to his closeness. He wanted to see his wings again, to feel their heat, but of course, Severn could not reveal them here.
“Mikhail, are you sure you’re all right?”
Ah, his face was revealing too much. Severn had always watched him closely.
He freed Severn’s hands and stepped back. “Are you hungry?”
“I… Yes?”
“Then let’s eat.” He started forward, taking the path that would eventually lead them to the food court.