Escaping Parker - F.T. Zele Page 0,68

took her from me, and I was going to make sure he was never alive to take another thing from anybody.”

I’m sick to my stomach, and flashes of Steven cloud my head. This sick violent circle I seem to be living in. I can’t imagine how it must have been coming home to that. I should be sympathizing with him, and all I am doing is getting scared and angry that he has been hiding this from me.

“I’m so fucking tired of the things I love in life being taken from me. That’s why I choose to be on the road. If you don’t get close to anything, there isn’t anything to lose. This is why I have to leave. I refuse to let this keep happening. So I prevent myself from getting hurt. First my sister’s death ripped my family apart, then Marie. I just can’t take much more.”

“So this, between us, this is all a matter of convenience for you? Do you do this with all the women you hide? Do you tell them what they want to hear, pretend you like them so you get your kicks in while you are around, then you leave?” I say disgusted.

“No, I told you from the beginning I stay away from my clients.”

“That didn’t stop you from staying away from me. Why do I not believe you right now?” I stomp to the other side of the room.

“It’s different with you. You have to believe that, Parker. I never promised you anything, I told you I was going to leave.”

“Just because you told me that doesn’t make it ok. You built up this whole thing here knowing you were hiding this. You were going to leave before you ever had to tell me anything. Did you even care about me at all?”

“I don’t know how you could even ask me that. Parker, I care about you. You mean so much to me, and that’s why I have to leave. This isn’t fair to either of us. I’m never going to be what you want. I knew the second you found out you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. You think this is easy? You think I don’t go to sleep every night wondering if me leaving is the right choice. I fucking love you, Parker. I love you so much that I have to let you go before something happens to rip you away from me.” he screams across the room.

“You have a really shitty way of showing that.” Tears build in my eyes, but I fight to not let them out.

“I’m sorry.” He moves closer to me.

“Don’t come near me. I can’t deal with this right now. All this, just some big show. My life was already messed up enough before you came along.”

“I’m not trying to make anything harder on you. If anything, I’m trying to make it easier. I don’t know what to do. I want to be with you, I want to stay here so much. I just don’t know how to do that and not live in a constant state of fear that I’m going to let you down like I let Marie down. I should have been there. I promised to keep her safe, and I didn’t. I can’t let that happen to you. I care about you too much.”

“I’ll make it really easy for you, Rig. I think it’s time for you to leave. I can handle my own life from here on out. You can go help another damsel in distress, prey on her insecurities. I’ll be fine here. Just give me Andrews’s number in case I ever need it. Because this is never going to work between us, you’ve made that very clear. I’ve had all I can take for one life time. I need you to go because I want to be alone now.” The second the words leave my lips my heart stops.

“If that’s what you want. I’ll get my things,” he says and walks out of the room.

Nothing in my head is making sense right now. I’m so angry at him, at myself for getting caught up in this stupid situation. I can’t believe I was naive enough to think that this was going to work between us. I need him to go, to break this fucking cycle that I have been living in. I need to do what’s best for me, and being around him isn’t what’s good for me right now.

The scariest part