Escaping Parker - F.T. Zele Page 0,13
with their movements that they are having fun. She keeps bumping into him and throwing her head back laughing. It makes me wonder if I will ever feel that joy again. I’m envious, craving any resemblance to a normal life. All I’ve ever wanted to feel is loved and appreciated, someone to tell me I’m beautiful, and I’m the light of their life. Having a soulmate left my dreams a long time ago, knowing my heart could never trust again. I believe I’m naïve and flat-out gullible, eating up all the lines that were ever given to me from the one person I trusted most.
I want Steven to feel the pain I’ve suffered throughout the years at the hands of his abuse. I want him to worry where I am, and fear I’m dead. I would like nothing more than to watch his life fall apart, and realize that the one thing he thought he so effortlessly had is now gone forever. Hoping every night when he goes to bed alone in that cold empty bed, he prays I don’t spill all the secrets that I have been hoarding, ones that could ruin his life—ones I’ve been too scared and embarrassed to expose.
“You ok?” Rig asks.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I lie, not able to admit what’s bugging me.
“So, we’re going to stay at a hotel tonight. Tomorrow, when we stop for the day, we will be staying a couple days in a safe house. Give us a little time to recuperate until you are given the envelope to our next destination. I don’t know where we’re going after there. It’s all done through the safe houses. We get an envelope to pass on, and we don’t even know where we’re going.”
“Ok.” It’s the only response I have.
“So we’re going to go into the lobby, and I’ll check us in. Don’t make any type of eye contact. You’re going to want to be invisible to anybody who might be in there. Can you do that?”
He asks as if he has a doubt to the way I follow directions. What he doesn’t know is that I have spent the last several years avoiding people, looks, and chatter. Never wanting to be seen by others, or even trying to act like I didn’t live in that house with Steven. This is second nature to me.
“Yes,” I say with an extra bit of attitude laced in there.
He retrieves our bags from the trunk, and I don’t say anything while I follow him into the lobby, keeping my eyes down, trying not to look obvious. Now I realize why he made a point of asking me if I could do this. Suddenly I feel like I’m doing wrong, like not looking at people shows that I’m hiding something. It’s like this weird insta-guilt.
I stand next to Rig at the front desk, dropping my gaze to the floor. If I had my phone, I could try and look busy checking things on that, but I have to make do. I get lost in my thoughts for a moment, when I hear him talking to the gentleman checking us in.
“Double beds, please. She tosses and turns like nobody’s business,” Rig says with a chuckle. I don’t know why it irritates me since he doesn’t even know me. I know he is acting and making things seem normal, but this anything but.
“Alright, Mr. Daniels, here are your room keys. If you need anything, just call us.” The guy hands us our stuff.
Once we get to our room, he opens the door and I’m pleased that it’s a suitable room. I need a room to feel comfortable, so I can try and get a decent night’s rest. Everything is clean, light, and nothing like the first room I stayed in with Mark. It smells fresh, and isn’t too crammed with both of us here.
Rig sets the bags at the end of the bed. “We’ll order dinner up, and just try and get as much rest as we can before we start our next drive. I don’t plan on stopping until we’re there, so we can make good time.”
“Ok. I’m not picky. I eat almost anything, so whatever you order is fine with me.”
I go into the bathroom and see a giant tub, craving a soak, but wondering how uncomfortable that will be with Rig in the room. Ultimately, it’s just too tempting to pass up.
“I’m going to take a bath while we wait for the food. Do you need to