Escalation - Tessa Teevan Page 0,12

soon as he lifts up from the bed, I want to protest, immediately missing his warmth, but I don’t say a word. He pulls the chair to the side of my bed and leans his elbows on the mattress as he takes my hand. The contrast of his warmth to my cold, icy palm is unsettling, and even though I want to fight it, to pull away, I give myself this one concession.

“I’m so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry,” he says, pain contorting his features. “I thought you were gone, back at my place, waiting for me. When I got home and you weren’t there, it scared the shit out of me.”

“I forgot the files,” I whisper, my eyes widening at the memory. “Oh, God, the files. I need them. I was going to study them to see if I could find any hidden clues, to figure out what the hell Adrian was doing. When I got back, he was there, and he had the files on the dining table, where he sat waiting for me.” I shudder at the memory.

He squeezes my hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry about that, Brie. Since he kidnapped you from the house, it’s an active crime scene. I’ll put in a call and make sure someone picks them up.”

I study his face. His eyes are dark, and the circles under them even darker. His usually tanned face is pale. Even his vibrant eyes are dull. In truth, he looks exhausted, drained, and like he’s in pain. I find my voice and ask the question I’ve been dreading getting the answer to but can no longer put off. I’ve already asked once. It’s time I find out the truth.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Who the hell are you?”

It was only a matter of time before that question came, but I’m not prepared for it. Nor do I have the right answer for her. I’ve already nearly lost her once, and I can’t bear the thought of the truth taking her from me—especially when she needs me now more than ever.

This is why I’ve always been warned not to get my heart involved when I’m on the job. I’m ready—hell, I already was—to spill everything if it means she’ll forgive me. I can still only give her half-truths, and it’s killing me.

“Rafe?” she says, breaking my thoughts. Her voice is small and questioning, and I hate the way my name now sounds on her lips. As if she’s unsure.

“Jesus Christ, Brie. Can’t you give a guy a minute?” I growl, immediately wincing at my gruff tone. The last thing she needs is me being an ass to her, but fuck. Rubbing my chin with my free hand, I try to calm my inner turmoil. “It’s been nearly twelve hours. Twelve fucking brutal hours since the moment I discovered that he had you. Twelve hours since I came upon the scene of his fucking car sinking to the bottom of the damn river. Twelve hours since they pulled you from the water, unconscious, not breathing, and I couldn’t even get close to you. I was fucking helpless. Hopeless. I was so fucking on edge, unsure if I was ever going to look into your eyes again. Or see that beautiful, gorgeous smile. I stood there, willing your chest to move, and it didn’t. It wouldn’t. God, Brie. You have no idea how terrified I was. I thought I’d lost you.”

“You did.”

Those two words nearly undo me. They probably would have if I couldn’t see the confliction on her face. She didn’t mean them. Oh, maybe she did, but not really. She’s hurt and lashing out, which is exactly what I deserve, but as soon as she spits those two words out, I saw the horror. She couldn’t believe she had actually said them out loud.

“Don’t say that. Please, whatever you’re thinking, just stop. There’s so much you need to know. So much I need to tell you.”

Her eyes light up as if my words cause her to reach a new conclusion. “You were going to tell me, weren’t you? About all of that. That night, after we found the files, you said you had something to tell me. Was this it?”

I’m relieved and overjoyed at her recollection. At least she knows I was planning on opening up to her. I hope that works in my favor. “Yes. Once we were both back at my apartment, I was going to tell you everything I could.”

“Why did you wait so long?”