Engaging his Enemy (Shattered SEALs #4) - Amy Gamet Page 0,12
been missing.
The whole time he’d been nurturing these men, he’d been nursing himself back to health. He was ready now to take the next step and do what needed to be done to locate his wife and family, to complete his own journey, no matter the ending. Much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, he was strong enough to make it if she refused to take him back.
Most of the guys were in town tonight, which made this a good time for the announcement he’d been waiting almost three weeks to make. Moto was dealing with his own family shit, and Mac would have to talk to him privately after the fact. There was no reason to put this off any longer.
He put the box on the floor beside his desk and began emptying drawers. The office supplies he’d leave for Razorback. Only the personal shit was coming home. He found an empty bottle of whiskey in the bottom drawer behind some file folders, shame filling him as he remembered the transgression. It had to be almost a year ago, so that, at least, was good.
There was only so much you could expect from an old drunk like him.
He picked up a picture from the top of his desk, Ellie’s laughing eyes winking back at him, and he smiled. While it was hard to leave a job he’d come to love, the reason he was leaving made it easy. This was the right decision and the right time for it, time to focus on the only thing that mattered and put all his attention back where it belonged.
The kids were nearly grown now, the memories of his son and daughters piercing in their clarity, and his eyes stung with unshed tears. A stronger man would have hated Ellie for taking them away, but he knew all too well why she’d done it.
Self-hatred was a funny thing. It didn’t stay contained in a little box inside your chest, affecting only you. It spilled out through your pores, emanating from your soul like a contagious disease. He’d been terrible to those kids, with a fuse so short it was all but missing, anger and aggravation his dominant emotions. That wasn’t what a father should be, and he prayed he’d have the chance to make it up to his children.
His eyes roamed the space one last time. He wasn’t closing the door shut behind him, Jax and Cowboy had been clear. This was a leave of absence, not a permanent resignation, but as Mac hefted his meager belongings onto his hip, he knew it wasn’t likely he’d be back here any time soon, and if he was being honest, he doubted he’d come back at all. He needed something different now.
A bridge to a new beginning. A final battle to find his love, so perhaps one day he could find peace. He could see now that might be possible for him, a happy ending that had once been as elusive as rainwater through a paper bag. He stood, throwing the empty bottle in the trash beside his desk and leaving the box with his belongings on the floor.
It was time for his announcement.
He made his way to the conference room, pleased to find the men all present and accounted for, recessed lights illuminating them like actors on a stage, and his throat clenched at the sight. Razorback was the only one who knew what this was about, his promotion requiring Mac to prepare him for this day long before now. “Thanks for coming.” He sat down. “You may be wondering why I called you all here on a Friday at four o’clock.”
He looked around the table. Sloan and Trace, partners in crime, with their rich senses of humor and deep-running loyalty to the pack. Gavin and Asher, two of the best tactical minds he’d ever had the privilege of working with. Brett Champion, the sharpshooter, a lone wolf and consummate ladies’ man. They were a solid team of soldiers, and while it pained Mac to leave, he knew in his heart they would get on fine without him. “I’m leaving HERO Force.” A collective gasp went up in the room, the words seeming to hang in the air around them.
He cleared his throat. “It’s time I move on, get busy doing the things that need doing in my own life. See if I can’t find that bride of mine.” His eyes went from man to man, soaking up the understanding