The Endless Road to Sunshine - Nicky James Page 0,132
core.
“Answer me, Skylar,” I screamed into the phone.
“I… I went and visited Morgan, but Jason—”
I didn’t hear the rest. A growl crawled up my throat, and I launched my phone against the wall, shattering the screen. For the following ten minutes or so, my world turned into a spinning vortex, every piece of my sanity scattering in the wind. It was all too much.
I crawled into bed, buried myself under the covers, and focused on nothing more than taking one breath after another. It was all I could do. Breathe.
Inhale. Exhale.
If I let go of those few simple commands, if I stopped telling my brain to just keep breathing, I feared I would fall into oblivion and never come back.
Inhale. Exhale.
The world swam out of focus, and I closed my eyes, doing all I could to stay grounded.
The incessant buzzing of the intercom woke me hours later. Surfacing to the realm of the living was like trudging through calf-deep mud. It wasn’t worth the effort, and I tried to resist, except the intercom wouldn’t stop. The noise was loud enough it split my head in two and made me grit my teeth.
I sat on the edge of the bed and performed a quick body scan. My head still ached, but my stomach had settled. My clothing was rumpled. My shirt untucked. I was in desperate need of a toothbrush and shower. The internal jitters were as bad as they’d been earlier. Nerves or hangover? It was anyone’s guess.
I found my feet and headed to the door. Whoever was pounding the button in the lobby wouldn’t let up. I checked the time in the kitchen first. It was late afternoon. Almost five. I’d been asleep for hours.
It could be Levi. It could be some news station who’d discovered where I lived. More likely, it was Skylar.
I leaned on the button and spoke without clearing my voice first. My words were rusty and gravelly. “Who is it?” I snapped.
“It’s me.” The meek words were spoken with hesitation. “Can I come up?”
I had half a mind not to let Skylar in, but the raging storm brewing inside me wanted to know what the hell he’d been thinking. Of all the times he could have been so thoughtless and stupid.
When I’d walked outside into madness yesterday afternoon at the university, I’d felt myself breaking apart. In those disconnected hours that had followed, I’d wished more than once for Skylar to be by my side, not Reggie. I had needed his energy, his smile, his patience. His uncanny way of supporting me no matter how shattered I was.
I buzzed him up without replying and paced while I waited.
Despite the hours of sleep I’d had, I was tired. It was an exhaustion born from too many months of dealing with the fallout of Morgan’s crimes.
By the time Skylar knocked on the door, I wasn’t sure I had it in me to deal with him anymore. I wanted to crawl back into bed and forget the world. He let himself in when I didn’t answer. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it and watched me, body pouring nervous energy into the room, face a picture of worry.
All I could do was stare. Did I even know him? Was it all a joke? A ruse? A trick? Had I played the part of a fool again after I’d sworn up and down I’d never put myself in that position twice? To think I’d let myself get close to him. Opened my heart to him. To maybe even… I shoved that thought away. I wasn’t going there. Not now. Not ever again.
Skylar wrung his hands and stepped forward. “I know you’re angry. Please let me explain.”
“I was a fucking fool.” The words were said more to myself than to Skylar.
He shook his head. “No. Please, Jason. Listen. I know I made a mistake.”
I was too numb, too disconnected. It was like I was floating somewhere outside reality, unable to touch the ground.
Betrayed. That was how this felt. Full-on betrayal.
“I trusted you.” Again, the words seemed to come out on a whisper like they held no substance. I couldn’t be sure I was speaking at all. “How could you do that to me?”
But Skylar heard. “I know. I fucked up. It was stupid of me. It’s just, we’ve been working on our project, Hunter and me, and he’s got all this information for his case study, and my information is so thin and nonexistent. My grades are important.”