like Bonzo Madrid. How do they think I'm going to clean this mess up?
The only thing that will stop Bonzo Madrid is to kill him.
And then Bean remembered standing there looking down at Achilles, saying, "You got to kill him."
Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut? Why did I have to goad Bonzo Madrid? Wiggin is going to end up like Poke. And it will be my fault again.
CHAPTER 16 - COMPANION
"So you see, Anton, the key you found has been turned, and it may be the salvation of the human race."
"But the poor boy. To live his life so small, and then die as a giant."
"Perhaps he'll be ... amused at the irony."
"How strange to think that my little key might turn out to be the salvation of the human race. From the invading beasts, anyway. Who will save us when we become our own enemy again?"
"We are not enemies, you and I."
"Not many people are enemies to anyone. But the ones full of greed or hate, pride or fear - their passion is strong enough to lever all the world into war."
"If God can raise up a great soul to save us from one menace, might he not answer our prayers by raising up another when we need him?"
"But Sister Carlotta, you know the boy you speak of was not raised up by God. He was created by a kidnapper, a baby-killer, an outlaw scientist."
"Do you know why Satan is so angry all the time? Because whenever he works a particularly clever bit of mischief, God uses it to serve his own righteous purposes."
"So God uses wicked people as his tools."
"God gives us the freedom to do great evil, if we choose. Then he uses his own freedom to create goodness out of that evil, for that is what he chooses."
"So in the long run, God always wins."
"Yes."
"In the short run, though, it can be uncomfortable."
"And when, in the past, would you have preferred to die, instead of being alive here today?"
"There it is. We get used to everything. We find hope in anything."
"That's why I've never understood suicide. Even those suffering from great depression or guilt - don't they feel Christ the Comforter in their hearts, giving them hope?"
"You're asking me?"
"God not being convenient, I ask a fellow mortal."
"In my view, suicide is not really the wish for life to end."
"What is it, then?"
"It is the only way a powerless person can find to make everybody else look away from his shame. The wish is not to die, but to hide."
"As Adam and Eve hid from the Lord."
"Because they were naked."
"If only Such sad people could remember: Everyone is naked. Everyone wants to hide. But life is still sweet. Let it go on."
"You don't believe that the Formics are the beast of the Apocalypse, then, Sister?"
"No, Anton. I believe they are also children of God."
"And yet you found this boy specifically so he could grow up to destroy them."
" Defeat them. Besides, if God does not want them to die, they will not die."
"And if God wants us to die, we will. Why do you work so hard, then?"
"Because these hands of mine, I gave them to God, and I serve him as best I can. If he had not wanted me to find Bean, I would not have found him."
"And if God wants the Formics to prevail?"
"He'll find some other hands to do it. For that job, he can't have mine."
***
Lately, while the toon leaders drilled the soldiers, Wiggin had taken to disappearing. Bean used his ^Graff log-on to find what he was doing. He'd gone back to studying the vids of Mazer Rackham's victory, much more intensely and single-mindedly than ever before. And this time, because Wiggin's army was playing games daily and winning them all, the other commanders and many toon leaders and common soldiers as well began to go to the library and watch the same vids, trying to make sense of them, trying to see what Wiggin saw.
Stupid, thought Bean. Wiggin isn't looking for anything to use here in Battle School - he's created a powerful, versatile army and he'll figure out what to do with them on the spot. He's studying those vids in order to figure out how to beat the Buggers. Because he knows now: He will face them someday. The teachers would not be wrecking the whole system here in Battle School if they were not nearing the