Ender's Game (Ender's Saga, #1) - Orson Scott Card Page 0,51
you wouldn’t believe I could do it.”
“Peter, I believe you could do anything, and probably will.”
“But I was even more afraid that you’d believe me and try to stop me.”
“Come on, threaten to kill me again, Peter.” Did he actually believe she could be fooled by his nice-and-humble-kid act?
“So I’ve got a sick sense of humor. I’m sorry. You know I was teasing. I need your help.”
“You’re just what the world needs. A twelve-year-old to solve all our problems.”
“It’s not my fault I’m twelve right now. And it’s not my fault that right now is when the opportunity is open. Right now is the time when I can shape events. The world is always a democracy in times of flux, and the man with the best voice will win. Everybody thinks Hitler got to power because of his armies, because they were willing to kill, and that’s partly true, because in the real world power is always built on the threat of death and dishonor. But mostly he got to power on words, on the right words at the right time.”
“I was just thinking of comparing you to him.”
“I don’t hate Jews, Val. I don’t want to destroy anybody. And I don’t want war, either. I want the world to hold together. Is that so bad? I don’t want us to go back to the old way. Have you read about the world wars?”
“Yes.”
“We can go back to that again. Or worse. We could find ourselves locked into the Warsaw Pact. Now, there’s a cheerful thought.”
“Peter, we’re children, don’t you understand that? We’re going to school, we’re growing up—” But even as she resisted, she wanted him to persuade her. She had wanted him to persuade her from the beginning.
But Peter didn’t know that he had already won. “If I believe that, if I accept that, then I’ve got to sit back and watch while all the opportunities vanish, and then when I’m old enough it’s too late. Val, listen to me. I know how you feel about me, you always have. I was a vicious, nasty brother. I was cruel to you and crueler to Ender before they took him. But I didn’t hate you. I loved you both, I just had to be—had to have control, do you understand that? It’s the most important thing to me, it’s my greatest gift, I can see where the weak points are, I can see how to get in and use them, I just see those things without even trying. I could become a businessman and run some big corporation, I’d scramble and maneuver until I was at the top of everything and what would I have? Nothing. I’m going to rule, Val, I’m going to have control of something. But I want it to be something worth ruling. I want to accomplish something worthwhile. A Pax Americana through the whole world. So that when somebody else comes, after we beat the buggers, when somebody else comes here to defeat us, they’ll find we’ve already spread over a thousand worlds, we’re at peace with ourselves and impossible to destroy. Do you understand? I want to save mankind from self-destruction.”
She had never seen him speak with such sincerity. With no hint of mockery, no trace of a lie in his voice. He was getting better at this. Or maybe he was actually touching on the truth. “So a twelve-year-old boy and his kid sister are going to save the world?”
“How old was Alexander? I’m not going to do it overnight. I’m just going to start now. If you’ll help me.”
“I don’t believe what you did to those squirrels was part of an act. I think you did it because you love to do it.”
Suddenly Peter wept into his hands. Val assumed that he was pretending, but then she wondered. It was possible, wasn’t it, that he loved her, and that in this time of terrifying opportunity he was willing to weaken himself before her in order to win her love. He’s manipulating me, she thought, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t sincere. His cheeks were wet when he took his hands away, his eyes rimmed in red. “I know,” he said. “It’s what I’m most afraid of. That I really am a monster. I don’t want to be a killer but I just can’t help it.”
She had never seen him show such weakness. You’re so clever, Peter. You saved your weakness so you could use it to move me now.