Enchanting the Duke - Lana Williams Page 0,40

deserve all the joy you can wring from life.

Now is your chance to change. Seize it.

Wishing you a blessed Christmas,

Mary Dawson

Douglas stared at the delightful image of a family gathered around a Christmas tree on the front of the card then re-read the message. He couldn’t help but wonder if her advice was a sign, an answer to the question with which he’d been wrestling.

Seize it.

The words echoed in his mind, flooding him with possibilities. What if he and Eleanor could form a true relationship filled with love and happiness? Why did he have to be solitary to perform his duties to the best of his ability? What if she wasn’t a distraction but a boon in his world? And much like the silly game of snapdragon, he had only to state what he wanted?

He set aside the card, his thoughts swirling as he looked through the rest of the post, surprised to find another letter addressed by a feminine hand.

It was from Eleanor.

His heart thudded painfully as he stared at the envelope. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to open it for fear of what she might have written. He knew he’d hurt her when he’d asked her to leave. Her expression left him no doubt.

It was all well and good to consider what their life together could be. But had he already lost that chance? She might not be able to forgive him for the pain he’d caused her. Why would she give him another chance when he’d messed it up so badly?

In an instant, he knew that was exactly what he’d done—made a terrible mistake. He’d been idiotic to send her away. Just because she was foremost in his thoughts didn’t mean he would ignore his duties. She was as concerned about those who depended on them for their livelihood as he was.

Would she even consider returning to Rothbury House after what he’d said and done?

The idea of finding a way to help her understand his behavior had him scowling. The only possible path would be to apologize and share the reason behind his actions, including his past and all that had occurred. It also meant sharing his feelings. The very thought caused his stomach to tighten with unease. He’d been taught to never show his emotions let alone speak of them.

Yet the reward would be significant. Having Eleanor as his wife in every sense of the word would create a truly different life than the Duke of Rothbury had lived for the past several generations.

Seize it.

The urge to ride to London in the dark nearly overwhelmed him. But he needed to plan his approach carefully, to find a way to convince her of his sincerity.

Douglas turned the unopened letter over in his hands but still didn’t break the seal. This was Christmas Eve. What was Eleanor doing at this very moment? Was she alone and as miserable as he was?

He would leave for London come first light. The one thing his upbringing had taught him was to go after what he wanted, and he wanted Eleanor.

Now he need only think of how to persuade her to forgive him.

~*~

Eleanor woke from a fitful sleep to see dawn lighting the windows around the drapes. Her heart felt heavy as did every bone in her body. Spending Christmas Day alone was nothing she’d expected to experience. Particularly not this year.

The sooner the holidays were over, the better. Perhaps then she could find a way to be happy. The thought of doing so alone brought tears to her eyes.

Babette entered the room with a tray, a smile on her face. “Good morning, your grace.”

“And to you, Babette. Happy Christmas.” Eleanor sat up in the bed, gathering her emotions. She needed to think of something other than Douglas. The maid set down the tray and added coal to the fire. “Did you post the letter to my parents?”

“Of course, as well as the other letters.”

Alarm filled Eleanor. “Which other letters?”

“There were three, your grace.”

“Oh, dear.” Eleanor’s stomach knotted with worry. “Was one to the duke?”

“Yes, I believe so. The other was to your cousin. Is something amiss?”

Eleanor closed her eyes, pressing her lips tight to hold back her tears. Why had she written that letter? Why hadn’t she torn it up?

“Wasn’t I supposed to post it?” the maid asked. Eleanor opened her eyes to see Babette twisting her hands together anxiously. “I’m so sorry, your grace. I didn’t realize—”

“Of course not. How could you? The fault is mine.” Eleanor drew a shaky