Enchanting the Duke - Lana Williams Page 0,37

to differ.” If this was her last chance, she had to say something to make him realize the terrible mistake he was making by tossing away their future together. “I realize you are a duke with many responsibilities. However, one of the benefits of having a wife is gaining assistance with some of those. We can do more together than we can apart. Surely you can see that.”

Surely you can see how much I love you. Though the words were on the tip of her tongue, she held back. If she shared the depth of her feelings, and he rejected her, she didn’t think she could recover from it.

“I disagree. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have several things I need to see to yet this evening.”

“Douglas, there is more to life than duties and taking care of your properties. What about you? You deserve happiness as well.”

“I hardly think that is any of your concern.”

She took a step back at the coldness of his words even as tears filled her eyes. “But I’m your wife. I don’t wish to live separately. That isn’t the sort of marriage I want.”

“You knew from the start it was for convenience. Why would you expect more?”

Her heart lodged in her throat, and she couldn’t get the words past it. Perhaps that was for the best and would keep her from begging and making an even bigger fool of herself. How naïve of her to think she could convince him to like her. Of course, he had only married her for her dowry. And to be a broodmare, much like the woman on the street a few weeks ago had said.

Eleanor lifted her chin. “The funny thing about a marriage of convenience is that it is rarely convenient. I’ll be gone come morning. Have a happy Christmas, Douglas.”

She turned and walked out of the study without a backward glance, leaving her shattered heart behind.

~*~

Eleanor left Rothbury House the following morning as she’d promised but only after making arrangements for gifts for the staff for Boxing Day and their special dinner. After all, she was still a duchess and needed to remember her duties. She’d decided to live in London where she could see her friends when she wished.

Yet that preference seemed ridiculous after she’d been there four days and had yet to leave the house.

Four, long, empty days.

Soon it would be Christmas, and she couldn’t bring herself to care. She’d shed enough tears for a lifetime though she knew they wouldn’t change anything. She had gone back and forth as to whether she should’ve told Douglas she loved him. Would it have made any difference? Did he truly think her some cold-blooded, title-seeking lady who had plotted to snare him?

She bit her lip, realizing there was some truth to that. She’d managed to place herself in his path on the rare occasions she’d seen him. But not because she wanted to be a duchess. Only because she’d wanted to lift the shadows from his eyes, to bring a smile to his somber countenance. The fact that he was a duke had been a detriment to her if anything. Her pedigree wasn’t high enough to be considered a proper wife to someone like him. But the size of her dowry changed the rules.

She’d shared all that and more in a heartfelt letter to Douglas, but she hadn’t sent it. What purpose would it serve? She’d written it with the hope doing so would help her work through some of her emotions and find a way to accept the situation. While she felt somewhat calmer, that was all she could claim.

Eleanor was torn between wishing she was with child so she wouldn’t have to see her husband until she’d had a chance to come to terms with their marriage and wishing she wasn’t so that at least he might come to her bed. But having him only in the dark of night wouldn’t be enough. It hadn’t been before and wouldn’t be now.

She’d written to her parents and a cousin to advise that she would be in London for the time being, making light of the circumstances and taking care not to mention Douglas. Her presence would soon be known by any members of the ton who remained in London as the servants in different houses gossiped. She needed to put on a brave face and regain her feet. It wasn’t as if she were the first wife to realize her marriage wouldn’t be all she