said, running his hand down her side and making her shiver. “If you had one, it would have to be pretty well hidden.”
“No, no tattoos,” she sighed, a soft smile on her lips as her eyes fell closed.
He shifted beneath her, and then she felt his lips in her hair. “Tell me your biggest regret,” he whispered.
Andie looked up at him. “My biggest regret?” she asked softly.
“Mm-hm,” he murmured.
And as soon as he said it, she knew what she would tell him. She wanted him to know her, really know her, so that when he finally told her he loved her, she’d know he meant all of her. Everything. Even her worst mistakes.
Know your regrets. Wear them like a badge of lessons learned.
“I was almost raped,” she said, wishing her voice didn’t sound so pathetic as she uttered the words.
She felt his chest still beneath her for a moment, and suddenly he shifted, lifting her off his body so he could see her face.
But she couldn’t look him in the eyes yet.
“When?”
Andie licked her lips nervously, her eyes on the sheet as her fingers plucked at the seam. “When I was fourteen.”
The room grew silent, and Andie glanced up at him uneasily. He opened his mouth but closed it before he said anything, shaking his head slightly. His expression was more disturbed than confused, and Andie could tell he was torn between asking her to explain and not wanting to upset her.
“I didn’t really know him,” she offered, lowering her eyes again. “I mean, I knew of him. We went to the same school.”
Chase’s hand found hers on the bed, his thumb making one soft pass over the back of it.
“He was older than me. Really popular. I had a huge crush on him,” she said with a sad smile before she shook her head softly. “He invited me to a party, and I convinced my friend to sneak out and go with me. At some point I went to the bathroom, and he followed me up there. He came in and locked the door…” Andie glanced up at Chase again. The muscles of his jaw were flexing over and over, but his eyes were still soft.
She took a deep breath, and much to her embarrassment, it trembled. It had been years since she had said any of this out loud, and she was underprepared for the power the words still held for her.
He clasped her hand then, intertwining their fingers, and she held it as she found her voice again.
“Anyway, he tried, but…I was fighting…and I guess I was so scared that I…that my body…” She looked down and shook her head. “He just…he couldn’t manage it…and then he just got fed up with me and left,” she said with a tiny shrug, chewing on her lower lip. “I’ve never told anyone that,” she added, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Nobody?” he said softly. “Your parents? Colin?”
Andie shook her head. “The only one who knows is my friend Tracey, and that’s only because she was there that night. As soon as she saw me, she knew something had happened, and she wouldn’t give up until I told her. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have said anything to her either.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked, his voice almost desperate. “Why didn’t you have him arrested?”
“Because I was young, and scared, and he told me no one would believe me, and I believed him. And plus, when we got back to school, he walked right past me like I didn’t exist, like I was completely invisible, and in a way, I was relieved. I wanted to be invisible to him. I didn’t want to do anything that would force me to interact with him ever again.”
“Jesus, Andie,” he said, and his voice was so sad that she scooted toward him, pressing her face against the side of his neck. His arms immediately wrapped around her, holding her firmly against his chest.
“You asked me once if I’d ever done something without worrying about consequences. Something just for me, because it was what I wanted. Well…there you have it,” she said softly. “And I’m not trying to make excuses. But that’s why I am the way I am, I think…like you said, always playing by the rules, always doing the right thing. Because I know there are consequences for doing the wrong thing.”
He released her then, pulling back from her slightly with his face full of concern. “You can’t possibly think that was