I stared at his lonely, deep, soulful eyes. His innocence. His sense of not belonging. What could I say? I couldn't lie. So I said nothing and just hugged him with all my might.
The photo dropped from his hand. And he pushed me away.
"I want to hear it from you," he demanded.
Tears started to well up. "I went there to disprove the rumors. I wanted to put an end to them! So your family could live in peace."
"So I was just a ghost story to you, that you had to check out?"
"No! No! Becky, tell him it wasn't like that!"
"It wasn't!" Becky exclaimed. "She talks about you all the time!"
"I thought you were different, Raven. But you used me. You're just like everyone else."
Alexander turned away and I grabbed his arm.
"Don't go! Alexander!" I begged. "It's true, I was caught up in the rumors, but when I first saw you, I knew. I've never felt this way about anyone. That's why I did everything else!"
"I thought you liked me for just being myself--not for who you think I might be. Or for something you think you wanted to become."
He ran away.
"Don't go!" I cried. "Alexander--"
But he ignored me. He was gone, back to the solitude of his attic room.
I stormed into the gym. The band was on break, and everyone looked at me in silence as I crossed the floor. "The end," Trevor announced and started clapping. "The end! And what a wonderful production it all was, if I do say so myself."
"You!" I yelled. Mr. Harris could see I was going for blood and grabbed me from behind. "You are evil incarnate, Trevor!" I screamed, my arms flailing as I tried unsuccessfully to wriggle out of the soccer coach's grasp. "Trevor Mitchell, you are the monster!" I looked at the faces around me. "Can't you see that? You all pushed away the most giving, lovable, gentle, intelligent person in this town while accepting the wickedest, vilest, most evil monster, just because he dresses like you! Trevor's the one who's destroying lives! And you just watch him play soccer and party with him while you cast out an angel because he wears black and is homeschooled!"
Tears streamed down my face, and I ran outside.
Becky ran after me. "I'm sorry, Raven. I'm sorry!" she shouted.
I ignored her and ran all the way to the Mansion, struggling over the slippery gate. Huge moths fluttered around the porch light as I banged the serpent knocker. "Alexander, open up! Alexander, open up!"
Eventually the light went out and the disappointed moths flew away. I sat on the doorstep crying. For the first time in my life I found no comfort in darkness.
Chapter 20 Game Over
I cried all night and stayed home from school the next day. At noon I ran to the Mansion. I shook the gate until I thought it would fall over. Finally I climbed over and banged the serpent knocker. The attic curtains ruffled, but no one answered.
Back home I called the Mansion and spoke to Jameson, who said Alexander was asleep. "I'll tell him you rang," he said.
"Please tell him I'm sorry!"
I was afraid Jameson hated me as much as Alexander.
I called every hour; each time Jameson and I had the same conversation.
"I'm going to be home-schooled from now on!" I yelled when my mother tried to get me out of bed the next morning. Alexander wasn't taking my calls, and I wasn't taking Becky's. "I'm never going back to school!"
"You'll get over this, dear."
"Would you have gotten over Dad? Alexander's the only person in the universe who understands me! And I messed it all up!"
"No, Trevor Mitchell messed it up. You were nice to that young man. He's lucky to have you."