Its enormous. I try my best not to think about it.
But you do
Of course I do.
I waited with bated breath to finally get a glimpse into Alexanders thoughts. Ones that I knew he was reluctant to tell me about.
If Becky were to go out with me, what would I do? Sebastian pondered. It would be very hard for me not to want to turn her. How do you manage?
I waited an eternity for Alexanders response. I pressed my ear closer to the door. I, like Sebastian, was eager to know how Alexander managed.
Its difficult.
If only she were born a vampire, Sebastian said again, then it would be easier.
Then she wouldnt be Raven, Alexander lamented.
I sighed. But what did Alexander think about turning me? I was dying to know more.
So, Sebastian pressed. Whats keeping you from it?
Alexander paused. Not Raven, I heard him say. Not my love for her. Or us being together.
I smiled inside and out.
I do imagine that moment, Alexander continued. Raven and I together on sacred ground. The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew she was what Id been searching for. What I didnt find with Luna or any girl Id ever known. But I never planned to fall for a mortalthe responsibility of it all. But no one said love is easy.
I tried my best not to scream in delight. Listening to Alexander admit to Sebastian that he truly wanted me in his world was what Id been waiting for.
Do you think you ever will? Sebastian asked. Ask her
Would Alexander really turn me? I waited for his answer, but all I heard was deafening silence.
Miss Raven! I heard a voice say from the shadows.
I thought Id jump clear through the Mansions roof.
I didnt know you arrived, the Creepy Man said in his thick Romanian accent. You must have snuck in.
The door was wide
Raven? Alexander called from the room. Suddenly he was standing before me.
Uh, he stammered. I didnt know you were here. It was obvious he was calculating in his head whether Id heard their conversation.
Sebastian was sitting with a gaming guitar in his hand.
Sebastian was just going to show off his guitar talents, Alexander said, changing the subject. Were just missing a gothic rock star.
Uhyeah, Sebastian said. I could use a singer.
They both looked to me.
Sure, I said. Just as long as you both have earplugs.
The following day, Alexander closed the coffin lid on Sebastians and my participation in his interview. We were banished from the Mansion, and just to be safely at a distance Sebastian and I met at Dullsvilles fountain until Alexander could join us.
It was odd, to say the least, to be hanging out with Alexanders best friend without Alexander. What were we going to talk about? Would it be strange to be hanging out with a guy who wasnt my boyfriend? The only other guy I was ever alone with, besides the occasional run-in with Trevor, was my snarky little brother.