He barely broke a smile.
"I'm turning eighteensoonand you'll be seventeen," he finallysaid. "It's something Ithink about, Raven. You. Me.
Our future. Iwant youto know that. But this is something that is life changing--especiallyfor you."
"Iknow." Igazed up at mydreamyboyfriend's eyes. His face was so handsome inthe moonlight. "But will you reallybe eighteen? Or something else, invampire years?"
"Iwill reallybe eighteen," he said.
"And thenthe next year?"
"Uh. . . nineteen," he said as if Ishould have known.
"But youare immortal."
"The aging process will slow down. But that's many, manyyears from now. Is that what youare worried about? Us not being able to be together unless youare immortal, too?"
"I've always wanted to be a vampire, since Iwas born," Isaid to him urgently. "But thenwhenImet you, I wanted to be one--to be turned byyou. To have the covenant ceremonythat youdidn't have withLuna inRomania.A beautiful wrought-ironlace trellis witha coffinand two goblets, onsacred ground. I'd be dressed ina black corset dress and hold black roses. You'd be wearing a black suit and have a black rose inyour jacket lapel. We'd say a few Romanianwords and drink from eachother's glasses. Then, you'd turnme."
"Wow!" he said witha laugh. "Iguess youhave thought about it, too."
"But it's not about me living forever. It's about me being romanticallybonded withyouand experiencing the world as a vampire." Istared up at him, the stars shining above him.
I waited for him to laugh, to think my ideas were childish and naive.
Instead he leaned into me and stared straight into myeyes, his chocolate ones dreamyand seductive. "There is a yearning that Ihave for you--that goes deeper thanlove," he said. "It's a desire that is palpable." He took myhand and raised it, exposing the inside of mywrist. "This desire courses throughmyveins," he said. He traced a prominent veinwithhis fingertip. "And yours. But I'd never put youbefore myownneeds. What Istruggle withisn't something that youshould have to as well. It's a complicated life--more so thanyourealize."
"Iknow it's complicated. If youdon't want to talk about it . . ." Ifigured it was best to drop the subject. Ididn't want to be a nagging girlfriend, andAlexander had beenthroughso muchalreadywithSebastian's antics. Whycouldn't I be more patient and not spoil our pure quality time alone together?
"Well, youalreadyknow it's complicated,"Alexander commented. "I'm not sure how Icankeep convincing you."
Ismiled. "Ilike it whenyoutry," Iteased. "But sometimes Iworrythat you'll leave the Mansionand returnto Romania.And I'll be stuck here, alone for the rest of mylife."
"Well, Iam not planning onleaving."
"But youweren't planning oncoming here, were you?"
"No . . ."
"See?"
"But Ididn't have the same reasons to staythere as Ido here," he said. "Is the only way I can convince you how much I care to . . ."
I waited. Maybe this was my chance to demand my need to be a vampire. But it had to be a decision he was ready for as much as I was.
"It isn't something we need to decide tonight, is it?" he asked.
If Isaid yes and his answer was that he wasn't going to turnme, what was Ito do then? NormallyIwas daring.
Adventure ranthroughmyblood just as muchas oxygendid. But this kind of risk--the emotional kind--was far different than sneaking into rumored haunted houses or cemeteries. This was my love life.
I gave him a puppy-dog face. "Of course not. But Iwonder if it is something youwant," Isaid withtrepidation, "or is it only my fantasy?"
I waited. I knew Alexander had thought about it. We'd discussed it before. But as he said, he was going to be eighteen and me seventeen--and, most important, I was now being faced with watching other vampires bite. It wasn't something we could put off forever.
"I can guarantee you it's not just your fantasy," he re-assured me. Then he glanced away, looking in the direction of the Mansionsitting a top BensonHill. "You are so much like my grandmother . . ."
"But wasn't she lonely? For the rest of your family? Is that the fate you'd wishfor me?"