Ella Enchanted - By Gail Carson Levine Page 0,66

be," he said softly.

He was so good.

"I'm not," I said. But in spite of myself, tears streamed down my cheeks.

I saw hope spread across his face. "That letter was rubbish. A trick." He glared at Hattie, then turned to me, his look probing. "Do you love me?" He still spoke softly. "Tell me."

An order. "I do." I was sobbing and smiling at once. How was I going to give him up again?

Char was jubilant. His voice rang out. "Then marry me!"

Another order. I nodded and continued to weep. But my hand found its way into his.

"Don't marry him, Ella," Hattie commanded, giving my name away for once and all.

I withdrew my hand. "I can't," I said. Perhaps Hattie would save us.

"Hattie, don't be a fool," Mum Olga snapped. "Don't you want to be stepsister to the queen and make her give you whatever you like?" She smiled at me. "His Highness is kind enough to want to marry you, Ella, my sweet."

It had begun. The curse would make Hattie and Mum Olga as grand as they wanted to be, and it would provide endless wealth for Olive.

Char was looking at me with such gladness, and I loved him so. I was the cause of his joy and would be the cause of his destruction: a secret delivered to his enemies, a letter written in my own hand, a covert signal given by me, poison in his glass, a dagger in his ribs, a fall from a parapet.

"Marry me, Ella," he said again, the order a whisper now. "Say you'll marry me."

Anyone else could have said no or yes. This wasn't a royal command. Char probably had no idea he'd given an order.

But I had to obey-wanted to obey -- hated to harm him -- wanted to marry him.

I would destroy my love and my land. They were in danger, and no one could rescue them. We were all doomed, all cursed.

Char was too precious to hurt, too precious to lose, too precious to betray, too precious to marry, too precious to kill, too precious to obey.

Words rose in me, filled my mouth, pushed against my lips. Yes, I'll marry you.

Yes, I love you. Yes! Yes! Yes!

I swallowed, forcing them down, but they tore at my throat. A strangled noise erupted from me, but not words, not consent.

He put a hand on my shoulder. I must have frightened him, but I couldn't see his face; my vision had turned inward where the battle raged. I heard Lucinda's voice, "My gift to Ella is obedience. She will always be obedient." I saw Mandy telling me to eat my birthday cake. I saw SEEf leering at me and heard him. "No need to be persuasive with this one. It'd cook itself if we told it to." I saw Olive counting my coins, Mum Olga standing over me while I scrubbed the courtyard, Hattie wearing Mother's necklace.

I'd eaten the cake, drunk the Tonic, given up the necklace, slaved for my stepmother, let Olive suck me dry. They'd gotten all they wanted of me, but they weren't going to get Char. Never. Never.

Be obedient. Marry him. Say yes. Say yes. Say yes.

The tears streaming from my eyes were acid, burning my cheeks. My mouth filled with liquid, bile and blood from biting my tongue, salty and corrosive and sweet.

In spite of myself my mouth opened. Consent had won. Obedience had won.

But I clamped my hand over my mouth. My yes was stillborn.

I remembered Char at Mother's funeral, waiting for me while I wept, grieving for Mother too. I heard his promise at the menagerie. "And soon I shall catch a centaur and give it to you." I saw him binding SEEf's ankles. I saw him, buttonless doublet flapping, bow to Father after we'd flown down the stair rails. I saw the ball and King jerrold beaming at his son, the hope and future of Kyrria.

Say yes and be happy. Say yes and live. Obey. Marry him.

I began to rock in my chair. Forward, the words were about to come. Back, I reeled them in. Faster and faster. The legs of the chair thudded on the tiles and pounded in my ears. Marry him. I won't. Marry him. I won't.

Then I lost sense of all of it. I went on rocking and crying, but my thought burrowed within, concentrated in a point deep in my chest, where there was room for only one truth: I must save Char. For a moment I rested inside myself, safe,