The Elemental Collective - Montana Ash Page 0,5

the news of her son – and Axel’s – had been revealed. Since then, Axel and Celeste looked to be forging a new future together and were well on the way to being sickeningly in love again. Just like the rest of the house. It was nauseating, Mordecai silently grumped. Not that he wasn’t happy for Axel and Celeste to be reunited and for Spiro to have his father in his life for the first time. But being surrounded by so many happy couples was like shining a huge spotlight onto his own very lonely, very loveless existence. He was grateful for his Order, and while his mission in life for the past fifty-odd years had been to seek out his daughter, he hadn’t realised just how much he was missing until he set foot in the Aurora Order’s ‘camp’.

There was warmth and fun, love and life – things he had given no priority to in, well, ever. But all that was irrelevant because although he had seen and done pretty much everything there was to see and do at least three times in his long life, he had never been in love. Not once. The closest he had ever come was an almost violently strong initial attraction, followed by explosive chemistry, and then a bone-deep hate for five decades. And even his stubborn arse knew that shit wasn’t healthy.

“I don’t know why you’re avoiding her anyway. Kind of pointless, don’t you think?” Axel chimed in, ushering Celeste to a chair.

Mordecai gritted his teeth. “I am not avoiding her.”

Axel looked over to him, his blue eyes a mixture of pity and amusement. “Well, good. Avoidance is futile. The woman is basically the source of all living things. I bet she knows everything about you. Including whether you’re a lefty or a righty.”

Mordecai frowned. “I’m right-handed. That’s obvious.”

“No, man. Not what hand you write with – I mean the way you tuck your dick,” Axel explained.

Mordecai choked on his next – and last – mouthful of coffee. “What?!”

“Axel!” Darius yelled at the same time – his tone scandalised. “That is no way to speak to a warden. Plus, your son is sitting right there.”

All eyes turned to the teenage boy who was grinning and stuffing his face with pop tarts.

Axel rolled his eyes, “I thought Mordecai was family now? Besides, Spiro has a dick too.” Spiro laughed even as Axel turned to Celeste with a sheepish look. “Is dick a word I’m not supposed to use in front of Spiro? This fatherhood thing has so many rules!”

“Dick is fine,” Spiro said.

“Dick is not fine,” Celeste said at the same time as her son.

“Ah, ah, ah,” the teenager wagged his finger at his mother. “You said it was fine to use when referring to the anatomy. Dick direction is anatomical.”

Several snickers could be heard throughout the room as Celeste looked around helplessly. She made eye contact with all the women before responding; “See? He’s a mini-Axel. I’m so glad I have you all for back-up now.”

“There, there, sweetie. We got you,” Diana crooned, hugging the new IDC’s Fire Warden in a one-armed hug.

“Anyway,” Axel looked at Mordecai once more. “My point is, that woman knows everything. Including –”

“Including my dick direction,” Mordecai cut in, dryly. “Uh-huh.”

“Is that even a thing? A dick direction?” Madigan asked.

“You’re over sixteen-hundred years old and you don’t know what direction you hang?” Lark asked, looking askance at Mordecai’s paladin. “I, for one, tuck to the left.”

“Hey, me too!” Axel exclaimed.

“Huh. What about you, Beyden?” Lark turned to his friend, who was very red in the cheeks.

“I’m not – I don’t –” Beyden looked helplessly at Jazz who simply held up her right hand. Beyden sighed, the sound filled with resignation as he muttered, “Right.”

“Darius is a righty too.” Diana revealed, ignoring her man’s gasp as she continued, “But I think it just kind of falls naturally that way because his left testicle is bigger than his right one.”

“Diana!” Darius cried.

“What? You make it kind of hard to hide when you wax down there, honey,” came Diana’s swift response.

“Don’t worry, bro. My left teste is slightly bigger than my right as well, so I tend to tuck to the left to give my right ball more room. Maybe it’s a genetic thing?” Dex mused.

“How did this become my life?” Mordecai murmured – more to himself than his Order.

“Oh, please,” Aiden said, from beside him. “You love it.”

Mordecai grunted, scowling in the direction of his daughter’s Order. “They’re a

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