Elegant Sins - Stasia Black Page 0,15
while residing in the manor did help ease my anxieties… because yes, 109 days was a long time to be away from everything I knew and loved.
“Has Father said anything to you about it?” I wanted to know how he felt about being so close to handing over the business. He was a workaholic, power-hungry, and not one to give anything unless it benefitted him. I couldn’t imagine him being too pleased about this tradition.
She took a sip of her lemonade, the ice clinking against the crystal the only sound for several minutes. “You don’t need to worry about what your father thinks now. You’re a grown man.”
In other words, he was pissed off. My mother never lied to me, but she wouldn’t be so honest to say exactly what I already knew.
“I’ve been working for him my entire adult life. I’m ready.”
“Yes, you are.”
“And you’re right, I don’t have to worry about his feelings, but it would be nice for him to communicate, or give fatherly advice, or even a sliver of praise at least once in my goddamn life.” My blood began to boil, and even sipping on the chilled lemonade couldn’t cool it down.
“You’re the man you are because of your father. You wouldn’t be nearly as strong, capable, or determined if it weren’t for the fact that you wanted to prove something to him. Your need and want is what gave you all the power.”
She turned her head and looked at me directly in the eyes. “I’m proud of you. I know I’m not your father, but I am so very proud, and I hope that means something to you.”
“Mama, of course—”
“Hush, let me finish.” She grasped my hands. “I’m not just proud of all the accomplishments you have achieved on the surface. You are a good, good man. Your soul. Your heart. Your mind. I raised a man who can’t be topped. You are a true Southern gentleman in every sense of the meaning.”
“I don’t believe you would think so if you truly knew what I will be expected to do in these trials.” I wasn’t even completely sure what would be required myself—future recruits were only allowed in on some of the Invitation events—but I knew enough through rumors and dark tales to know it wouldn’t be something a mama would be proud of.
“I know more than you think, and I want to stop you right now if you even for a second start feeling guilt. Those women who attend the ball, and the woman you choose to go through the trials with you are not forced. They know exactly why they are there. The Order of the Silver Ghost are the kingmakers and the dreammakers You will walk out of that manor a king.”
Her fingers clutched around mine. “That woman will walk out of there with her dreams come true. She is there because she chose to be. Chose to. I want you to remember that.”
The kingmakers and the dreammakers. How true that was.
“What if I’m asked to do something I am morally against?”
Her jaw tightened as her eyes darkened. “You will be.”
“You said it yourself, that I’m a good man,” I reminded. “Am I supposed to just forget that part of me because of the Order?”
She shook her head. “There is a very fine line between good and evil. Everyone has a seat in their soul for the Devil. The trials will pull the chair out and invite the dark angel to sit.”
She leaned forward. “And though the man you go in the manor as tomorrow will be pushed to a breaking point, and you will indeed tango with the demons inside of you, you’ll come out mightier and more in tune with the real person you are. You’ll see the completed portrait. All the shades and shadows blended with the light from before.”
“And the poor woman who agrees to this? What about her?” It felt freeing and slightly scary to even ask the questions out loud, hesitations I hadn’t even admitted to myself. It had always been like this with my mother. She was the one person on earth I could say anything to. “Maybe she’ll have no idea what her acceptance to the invitation really means.”
“True. She has no idea. Not really. But that’s the point. She’ll also have to dance with the demon. And the goal will be to break her. Shatter the woman she believed herself to be. She won’t be the belle of the ball without having