Closing her eyes for a moment, Olivia made a growling sound. “When Chelsey told me you were cheating on me, I didn’t believe her. Then she showed me this photo, and bugger it, Nats, I went barmy.”
Chelsey had done what?
Olivia’s hazel eyes, more brown than green today, gleamed with tears for a second. “I’m sorry. I can understand if you don’t forgive me, but I wanted you to know how it happened. And to apologize. I’m so sorry.”
Natalia felt as if her brain had broken. The picture. Chelsey.
Olivia.
Here. Apologizing.
What was she supposed to do? Her legs started to wobble, to buckle.
Olivia sprang up and caught her around the waist, then used both arms to hold her up.
Dropping her head against the Mistress’s shoulder, Natalia breathed in the clean, warm scent, like a warm day in autumn. The arms around her were strong. The Mistress wouldn’t let her fall.
“Sit, girl.” After settling Natalia on the top step, Olivia tried to move back. And couldn’t.
Natalia realized she was clinging. Oh God, she was so confused. “Sorry, I’m sorry.”
Olivia snorted. “No, poppet, you’re using my line.” She shook her head. “I kicked you out and didn’t even explain. Or let you talk.”
She hadn’t, had she. Oh look, here’s some anger that hadn’t drained in my temper tantrums. Natalia scowled at the woman she thought loved her. “I noticed. Why?”
Taking a seat on the lowest step, Olivia wrapped her hand around Natalia’s bare ankle.
Natalia could feel the warmth, the calluses. Her Mistress’s hand. The longing shook her deep inside.
“I…” With a sigh, Olivia shook her head. “I have no good excuse.”
Natalia hardened her heart although her voice shook as she forced out the word, “Try.”
Olivia’s jaw tightened, before she nodded. “Fair.”
Natalia waited. The Mistress rarely shared her past.
“It’s like this, Nats. Every lover I’ve been with eventually cheated on me, one after we’d been together for three years. Since submissives obviously couldn’t be faithful, I swore off monogamous relationships. Then I met you.”
Natalia felt her breathing stop.
“We—we were so perfect together, and I trusted you. I knew you would never lie to me.”
Oh God, no wonder. Natalia whispered, “Then Chelsey showed you that picture and told you I was like your previous girls. A cheater.”
To Natalia’s shock, Olivia’s eyes reddened with tears. “I hurt you badly. I’m sorry.”
Unable to answer, Natalia stared at her hands.
One evening, in the Shadowlands, Natalia had heard Ghost telling a new member that if a submissive was hurt, her Dom would feel like shit—because he’d failed in his duty to keep her safe.
How much worse was it if the Domme herself delivered the blow?
Lifting her head, Natalia looked at the Mistress—really looked at her.
Olivia had dark circles under her eyes, her hair was a mess, her clothing wrinkled. “Were you here all night?”
Olivia shrugged.
Yes, then, she had been.
The Domme’s clothing was loose. She’d obviously lost weight in the last month or so. Her tan had faded. The lines in her face were deeper.
Natalia bit her lip. “Is it bad I can see I’m not the only one who’s been unhappy since we broke up?”
After a sharp bark of laughter, Olivia shook her head. “I’ve missed you so bloody much.” She pulled in a breath. “Every day.”
Natalia almost didn’t recognize the feeling swelling inside her.
Happiness.
She swallowed. Could…could they go back to… “Um. Want to come inside and explain how my face got in the picture? Maybe?” A quiver of hope ran through her.
The same hope appeared in Olivia’s eyes.
Natalia leaned forward.
The kiss was soft, tender, questioning. Olivia pulled back far enough to whisper, “You shouldn’t forgive me…but I love you so much.”
“Well, I guess I could beat on you for a while.” Natalia tried to smile, but she really, really hoped it would be the reverse.
A glint appeared in Olivia’s eyes. Her voice was soft and level, as she said, “Yes, love. Let’s go inside and see who beats on whom.”
When Valerie had returned to Ghost’s place later that day, he’d wanted to work out. Since she’d already done her own exercises, he gave her a self-defense lesson.
It was amazing how many ways there were to hurt someone.
After the lesson, her reward was to use the punching bags Ghost had hung in the weight room. She felt like such a kick-ass when she drove her fist into the person-sized sandbag. Although he kept telling her she wasn’t putting enough muscle into it.
Men.
After her shower, she stayed commando and simply pulled on lightweight cotton drawstring