a few scene noises, the entire club had gone quiet.
“So, Valerie asked me to tell you what happened on—how do the mysteries call it?—the night in question. Here’s the background, something I’m finally able to talk about.” Hands clasped in front of her waist, Faylee pulled in a visible breath. “I was abused as a child. Raped, beaten, messed up. By my father. And most of my life since has been trying to cope with that in one way or another. I’m also a masochist. Pain gets me out of my head and lets me know I’m alive.”
Valerie had heard this recording several times now—and it didn’t seem to matter. When Faylee’s voice wobbled on the last few words, on “I’m alive”, Valerie’s heart broke all over again. She swallowed back the tears.
Faylee was saying, “So, back then—fuck, it’s like two years ago—I wanted to try something new, not just a good flogging, but being restrained…to get past what my father had done to me. I picked a Dom I’d never played with but who was awesome. So careful and controlled I knew I’d be safe. I’d watched him play before, almost always with a woman his age, but he hadn’t been in the club for maybe a year, so when he showed up, I jumped at the chance.”
Valerie moved closer to the crowd, thinking to watch their reactions. Inevitably, her gaze shot straight to Ghost.
Master Z still held his arm, although they’d moved away from the bar, probably to see the screen better. Jessica stood on Z’s other side.
Ghost’s expression was unreadable in the dim light of the club, but the very stillness, the way he held himself conveyed…anger.
Valerie’s stomach felt as if she had rocks in it. She knew he’d be mad…and she couldn’t let it stop her. Even if they weren’t friends any longer, this needed to be done. Jessica had called earlier to report Ghost had tried to resign.
Not going to happen. The club needed him…and he needed the club.
On the screen, Faylee shook her head. “When I…okay, I’ll confess that when I totally begged, Ghost agreed to a pick-up scene. I didn’t know where his usual submissive was and didn’t care. I was…” She bit her lip. “It’s hard to admit, but at the time, the only person I cared about was me. We went through the negotiations, and it was all good. But when he asked about my past, about emotional problems and potential triggers, I lied to him—and then spilled my drink to fuck with my body language so he couldn’t tell.”
Someone muttered, “That’s messed up.”
“I fucking hate liars,” gritted out a Top with a whip on his belt.
Faylee laughed suddenly and pointed at someone in the room. “You should see Master Drake’s face. He’s furious with me.”
She shook her head. “Ghost talked about aftercare, and I told him no aftercare. I said I didn’t like it and didn’t tell him I couldn’t tolerate someone trying to hold me. He said he liked to call his bottoms a day or so later to check on them, but sometimes his job took him out of town, and did I have someone else if I needed help. I assured him I did.”
“Yes, people, I lied again. I did have friends, but I would never let anyone know I was vulnerable. Or ask for help. Just…no.”
Faylee started walking back and forth in the room. “So, Ghost restrained me, and it was fine until he used a whip, and I couldn’t move—and you guessed it right? I had a panic attack. Screaming and crying and—hell, I don’t think I even used a safeword, but he had me out of the restraints and got me calmed down. He’s really good at that. Then he ignored what I thought I’d wanted and did aftercare. Wrapped me in a blanket, helped me drink a Gatorade, and, since I wouldn’t let him touch me, he just sat next to me. And talked. About nothing special. Letting me know I wasn’t alone. That I was safe. God, it was nice. But, being an idiot, as soon as I spotted one of my friends, I had her take me home.”
“What a mess,” Saxon said under his breath.
Ben grunted his agreement.
On the screen, Faylee walked across the room again. Her face was pale, and she was blinking back tears.
Master Drake said something, and she shook her head. “No, I want to do this. It’s…harder to talk about than I thought it would be.”