The Effing List - Cherise Sinclair Page 0,125

solutions to this mess. But it was finals week. She had a duty to her students.

Finally, the class period was over. Filing out, the young men and women gave her worried looks. Jamail hesitated for a second, obviously wanting to show his concern, but Valerie shook her head at him.

Maybe she wasn’t holding up as well as she’d hoped.

In the hallway, Queenie confirmed her worry. “You look like shit, woman. How about I give you a ride home?”

So blunt. So Queenie. “Thank you, but I’m not sick. Just…” She shrugged.

Queenie’s eyes narrowed. “Problems between you and your soldier-professor?”

The accuracy of the guess made Valerie take a step back. “In a way. It seems we’ve hit a rocky patch.”

“Want me to—”

“No, it’s not him. My children and ex are displeased.”

Queenie scowled. “Don’t let the past decide your future.”

Her future. Yes, she had a future. “I…that actually helps.” Valerie pulled in a breath. “Thank you.”

“You can handle this.” Queenie patted her shoulder.

As they parted, Valerie could only wish she had the same confidence.

What was she going to do?

A few minutes later, she realized she’d walked to Finn’s office and was simply…standing…in the doorway.

One hip resting on the edge of his desk, he was talking to a student. Laughing about something. The sound of his deep voice eased some of the tension inside of her.

And made her heart hurt worse.

Seeing her, he stopped, warmth filling his gaze. Then his eyes narrowed as he studied her.

He turned to the student. “Work on the project today and we’ll see how you do.”

“Sure thing. Thanks, Dr. Blackwood.”

The young man headed out, and really, she should too, because…this wasn’t the time. Why had she even come here? She needed to save this talk for later.

“Sorry, Finn.” She took a step back as he crossed the room.

He took her hand, pulled her into his office—and closed the door.

“What the hell happened, lass?” he murmured, pulling her into his arms. “Did someone die?” His voice was so gentle, so concerned. The man didn’t shout, even when angry.

He wasn’t the storm; he was the mountain. Winds might batter at him, but nothing would move him.

He was her place of shelter. Her sanctuary.

“You’re shaking, sweetheart.” He stepped back and cupped her chin. “Talk to me.”

“It’s the children. I had them over last night and tried to tell them about you, only they—Barry told them I cheated on him before the divorce and—and they believe him.”

“That bastard.”

“They said I have to go back to him—or they won’t see me again. Or let me see Luca.”

What the hell? Ghost tried to tamp down the anger rising inside him. It wasn’t easy, not when his woman—his woman—trembled. Her color was dead white.

Okay, think, Colonel. Because she sure wasn’t. “Valerie, your kids don’t have the right to order you to return to your ex. No one can make you go back to Barry. You’re divorced.”

“I know that, of course, I do.” She pulled back. Away from him. “But…families do split apart over divorces, divide into sides. And they think I’m a liar. A cheater.”

He said carefully, “Children often overreact over things like this. We’ve both seen it happen, haven’t we?”

She paused. “Y-yes.”

“You can’t let them dictate your life for something they want. They’ll get over it and—”

“I…don’t know if they will. You didn’t see their faces. Hear them.” She laid her hand over his chest and stared up at him.

The skin around her eyes was puffy. She’d been crying. Fuck him, but she’d been crying, and he hadn’t been there for her. “Lass…are you really planning to do what they want?”

Tears filled her eyes, but she shook her head. “No. But will it—can you forgive me if I stay alone until I figure out how to handle this?”

He cupped her cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “There is no forgiveness. You must do what you need to do. Don’t you think I could help?”

Her lips curled up slightly, even as more tears brimmed in her eyes. “You could help, except if I’m with you, all I’d be able to think about is how mad I am they’d threaten what we have. And I can’t be mad or let myself burn bridges behind me. Not with my children.”

Fuck.

“It annoys me you’re making sense rather than flinging yourself in my arms and asking me to fix this.” He hugged her close, relieved at how she hugged him back so tightly. “Take the time you need, and call me or come over when you’re ready. I’m

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