Edge of the Wilderness - By Stephanie Grace Whitson Page 0,43
Robert could see a flicker of light on the opposite side of the parade ground, evidence that someone else had given up trying to sleep in the oppressive heat and come out onto their front porch to smoke.
Robert sat up. Nancy whispered his name. He looked down at her, smiling. “Sleep, best beloved,” he said tenderly, bending low to kiss her forehead. The corners of her mouth curled up in a lazy smile. Robert thought of Daniel Two Stars, who slept alone each night longing for the presence of a girl he called Blue Eyes.
Whatever Robert and Big Amos did, they could not seem to drag their friend back from wherever his spirit had fled. He had been almost completely silent since he buried his friend Otter down on Jeb Grant’s farm weeks ago. He had become as thin as one of the rails Grant used to fence in his cornfield. He refused to go with them to the daily services conducted by the fort chaplain. When they spoke of God, he found reason to go elsewhere.
Daniel still did good work for the army. Captain Willets had commended him several times. Together, the three men had brought in dozens of frightened Dakota to camp near Fort Ridgely until they could be sent to Crow Creek. From what Robert could tell, the thanks of the people they were helping had no effect on Daniel Two Stars. In the past few days he had taken to communicating more in sign language than anything else. Robert had begun to fear that some morning he would waken to find his friend gone, or worse—dead at his own hand.
A twig snapped just outside the tent. Daniel was just sitting down beside the campfire, opening Etienne LaCroix’s journal.
Robert got up and went to him. “If you want to find her,” he said, “I will talk to Captain Willets. He recruited us for six moons. That will soon be over. Even if he wants us to stay longer, you could go to Crow Creek. Captain Willets would understand. And someone there might know something.”
Daniel stared into the dying campfire and said nothing. He closed the book and tossed it behind him on the bedroll.
Robert reached out and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I am losing my friend, and I don’t know what to do,” he said softly.
Tossing a stick into the fire, Daniel said bitterly, “Do you see that stick? The coals are not hot enough to destroy it, but still the stick feels the heat. You can see the bark cracking and the liquid inside oozing out.” He paused. “I am that stick. I wait to be consumed by the flames, but all the life has already been drawn out of me.”
“Then go find her,” Robert said gently.
Daniel shook his head. “I have nothing to give her anymore. I look at her picture and try to remember how I felt. I feel nothing.” He looked up at the sky. “I remember looking up at those stars and seeing God.”
“Can you think of nothing to thank Him for?” Robert said quietly.
Daniel was silent for so long, Robert thought he would not answer. But finally, he said, “I am thankful Blue Eyes is not here to see what I have become.”
Robert protested gently. “Only a good man would have let Brady Jensen live that day when he killed Otter. Only a good man would bury his friend the way you did, risking the anger of the army. Yesterday you put an old woman on your own horse and walked many miles to bring her to our camp.” Robert paused, thinking. “Our world has broken apart. No one can blame you for feeling lost. None of us knows what to expect tomorrow. But God knows, Daniel. He says we have a future. We can have hope.”
“What future?” Daniel snapped. “What hope?”
“You are not the only one who has lost much, Daniel.”
He shot back angrily. “But I am the only one inside this skin. I am the only one living this empty life. And I seem to be the only one God blesses with His silence.”
“Pray,” Robert urged him.
“He does not hear,” Daniel said bitterly.
“How do you know that?”
“Nothing changes.”
“Perhaps He is waiting for you to pray that He will change you instead of the things around you.”
Daniel pondered what Robert had said for a moment. His voice was calmer when he asked, “Is it wrong to want a home?”